


Love Without Reaping

by IzzySamson



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzySamson/pseuds/IzzySamson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would one of Panem's greatest love stories play out if Kanisss never volunteered and Peeta was never reaped and Gale got tired of waiting for Katniss to return his affections and moved on? It would still be epic and dramatic. Peeta must convince Katniss that love and marriage is worth the pain that it may bring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own The Hunger Games
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta, kismet4891!

****

 

**Banner by Ro Norman**

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 1**

Peeta carefully sits a small, red rose covered wedding cake, his latest creation, in the storefront window. It's the third cake he's done this week, which is to be expected, there is always an influx of marriages the month after the Hunger Games end. The day after the final interview of the newest victor, the Justice Building reopens and young couples from the Seam and the Merchants' sector alike line up to get their housing assignments and officially change the woman's name. To get married while you're still eligible for the reaping is illegal and having sex outside of marriage is frowned upon in District 12, despite the fact that most people have done so. That's why the slag heap is so popular for the young and in love, or more often than not in lust. There is a code of silence at the heap. No one dares breathe a word about who is seen there, because it is like confessing that they've been there themselves.

Two weeks ago to the day, Rue, a fourteen year old tribute from District 11, was announced as the victor of the 76th Hunger Games. She was nicknamed the Mockingjay, because she had spent most of the games in the tree tops with nothing but the birds for company. She had somehow managed to take out the last remaining tribute, a giant career from District 2, with nothing but a sling and a small stone. Peeta could not help but to compare it to one of the forbidden stories that his father used tell him at bedtime, David and Goliath. Most everyone in the Districts laughed when she won, thinking about all of the money that betters had lost, banking on the win of the massive, cruel eighteen year old boy. This year Peeta was able to watch the games with a little less anxiety, he was now eighteen and had survived his last reaping, as well as the girl that he worried about the most.

Peeta could only remember one other game that he had watched so closely. The 74th Hunger Games, the one where Thom Hadley, a wiley boy from the Seam had won. It made Peeta happy to finally have a victor from District 12 for the first time in twenty-four years. Peeta had been so relieved when Thom had won; his victory meant that for one year he would worry less about  _her_  and the other kids from the Seam having enough to eat. His mother had complained about the win, saying that sales would be down because of all the free food. Yet surprisingly, sales went up. People had more money to buy luxury foods like cookies and cheese buns.

Peeta is alone in the bakery this afternoon because his father is not feeling well again. It's Graham's day off, Rhyes works for his father-in-law, and his mother now more or less lives with her childless elderly aunt. She is playing the part of the doting niece, but really she is just trying be named sole heir in the will.

The bell rings loudly as someone pushes the door open. A little dark haired girl runs in, with a bag in hand, her toothless smile is wide and happy. She instantly presses her face against the glass of the display case, where the cookies set.

"Why, hello." Peeta greets the little girl warmly. He is thankful that his mother isn't here, knowing that if she was here that the  _Seam brat_  would have been sent out the door in an instant. "What can I do for you today?"

Before the little girl can answer the door opens again. "Now Posy, you can't just run into a place like that." A young man's voice gently scolds.

A young woman's quickly chimes in. "Oh, let her go Peeta doesn't mind. Do you Peeta?"

"Of course not." he replies earnestly, without looking at the speakers. When Peeta does look to the couple, he's shocked at who he sees. The man's voice belongs to Gale Hawthorne, who is with, of all people, Madge Undersee.

Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne, Peeta had heard the rumors, but he doesn't put much stock in rumors, especially this one. Gale and Madge are engaged to be married. The rumor mongers of District 12 had been saying that Gale had been caught by Mayor  _Undersee trading more than strawberries with his daughter._  In the butcher's version of the rumor Madge was discovered kissing Gale in the Mayor's kitchen. The grocer's story claimed she was caught on her knees in the living room. The tailor's wife had the most lurid telling saying that they were mid-climax on the Mayor and Mrs. Undersee's bed when they were found. Peeta didn't really believe any of the tales word for word, but there had to be some truth in the milder ones, because they were standing in his family's bakery.

Madge hangs on Gale's arm as they enter the bakery. Gale is in a brand new suit and looking a little annoyed, while Madge is absolutely glowing with happiness.  _So if the first part of the rumor was true then the second part must be too,_ Peeta thinks to himself looking over Gale's new suit. The Mayor had arranged for Gale to get a good paying job within the local government so that the match was not unequal, and so he could better provide for Madge.

"Peeta we would like you to make us a cake, we're getting married." Madge tells Peeta happily in her soft voice. She pats Posy's head with her free hand.

"I get to help pick out the cake!" The sweet faced little girl volunteers proudly.

"I'm sure you'll be a big help," Peeta tells the little girl as he gets out his cake book and sketch pad.

"Yes, I have a very 'portant job." Posy says seriously. "I'm the sap-er-rone."Madge looks down and gets a little red and Gale nudges the little girl, giving her a stern look.

Knowing that the girl had meant to say 'chaperone', Peeta withholds a chuckle,  _sounds like it's a little late for that one,_  he thinks. Outwardly he ignores her comment for the benefit of the couple, shows them to the table and chairs in the back, and proceeds to show them pictures of cakes he's done in the past. There are only three chairs, so Madge offers to let Posey sit in her lap. It warms Peeta's heart to see Madge and Posy acting so sisterly, he had always thought that Madge must be the loneliest girl in the District, being the only child of hands-off parents.

Peeta lets them look through the photos while he restocks the display case, which he normally wouldn't do, but the bakery is shorthanded at the moment. His dad has been fighting some mystery illness for the last few weeks and has been resting at his son's insistence. Graham's wife was pregnant and on bed rest, he was often gone so he could take care of her and their eighteen month old. This left Peeta with the majority of the work at the peak of toasting season, he is starting to wear down and hasn't been out side of the bakery, or his home since he finished school a month ago. Peeta's life currently consisted of working, taking care of his dad and house, and nothing else.

Peeta sketched out a cake as Posy watches in wonder, "You draw good!" the tiny child states.

"Why thank you, Posy." Peeta humbly tells her. He can tell that the little girl is smitten with him, most little girls became taken with him. Secretly he wishes that another Seam girl would feel that way about him too.

Madge places the biggest order that the bakery has ever had, a cake big enough for one hundred people. Four tiers of chocolate cake with strawberry filling, decorated with white icing and yellow flowers. Gale offers to bring the strawberries, knowing how pricey they would be to order from the Capitol. Posy is insisting on pink icing, but Gale emphatically says no and Madge agrees. Posy obviously feels a little dejected, so Peeta offers her a cookie. Her little face lights up.

"We don't take charity." Gale says a little too loudly and curtly. Peeta is about to explain that it is alright but Posy speaks before he can.

"But Gale," she argues. "I brought something to trade. I want to be like Katniss and Prim and trade with the baker!" Peeta's heart skips a beat at the mere mention of her name.

"What did you bring?" Gale asks disbelievingly.

"I brought mint leaves from my herb garden," she holds her bag up for all to see.

Before Gale could deny her again Peeta quickly speaks up. "Oh, that would be great," he says cheerfully. "My dad isn't feeling well. I can make him mint tea to help him feel better." He holds out his hand for Posy to give him the bag. He opens the bag and inspects the contents, "I think that this is worth about one sugar cookie, with pink butter cream icing."

"Really!?" Posy gasps and smiles wide, when Peeta reaches into the display case and pulls out a cookie with a heart design on it. "Oh, thank you Mr. Mellark, its soo pretty!"

"You're welcome!" Peeta laughs at her enthusiasm. "You can call me Peeta."

"You didn't have to do that." Gale says quietly when Posy runs over Madge to show her the cookie.

"I know, I wanted to, besides I needed to get Dad some mint leaves anyways. It's the only thing that seems to help his stomach." Peeta simply replies.

"Is your Dad sick?" Gales asks sincerely, his demeanor suddenly softer. He is on friendly terms with the baker and has much for respect for him.

"Yeah," Peeta tells him quietly. "That's why he hasn't been here much lately. The apothecary doesn't seem to know what's wrong with him."

"Has he seen Mrs. Everdeen?" Gale asks. "Sometimes she can catch things that the apothecary misses."

Peeta weighs the idea for a moment, it wouldn't hurt to have a second opinion, the only reason that she was never considered before was because even the mention of Lily Everdeen would send his mother into a tirade. But, she was hardly ever around anymore so if an appointment with Mrs. Everdeen was kept quiet then no harm would be done. "I suppose I could ask her, but it would have to be kept quiet. My mom would be upset if it was known that my dad was seen by a healer and not the apothecary." That was a little white lie; his mom would be more upset about his dad even speaking to Mrs. Everdeen. "But, my mom is staying with her aunt now so it would be possible to have Mrs. Everdeen come see my dad without much drama."

Gale gives him a knowing smile, Mrs. Mellark's unreasonable temper was one of the worst kept secrets in the district. "Hey, I'm going past her house later, I'll ask her about it."

"Oh, okay, thanks," Peeta says a little surprised by the offer.

"Well it's the least I can do for you talking Posy out of the hot pink daisy cake and giving her the cookie. It was worth a lot more than a few mint leaves." Gales waves him off.

"Oh, don't worry," Peeta says half-seriously. "I'll just charge your future father-in-law a few more coins to make up for."

"He wouldn't notice or care," Gale smiles back. "Well, thanks Peeta."

Gale turns to the girls who are chatting and giggling looking at the pies. Madge turns to the counter, "Hey, Peeta if you're not doing anything next Friday night you're more than welcome to stay for the toasting when you deliver the cake."

"Yeah, you're more than welcome. There will be a ton of girls there." Gale adds, and Madge gives him a half-hearted smack on the shoulder. Peeta catches the flirtatious glace that is exchanged between the two before Gale asks him. "You don't have a girl, do you?"

"No, not at the moment," Peeta coolly admits, thinking of the short lived relationship with Ramona, he had broken it off the instant she had started to talk about marriage. Ramona had been yet another failed attempt to convince himself that there were more girls in the world than the one he wanted more than anything.

"You can dance with me. Madge gave a pretty dress and ribbons!" Posy offers brightly.

"Maybe I will. I'll have to see how my day goes." Peeta tells them and found it even easier than usual to smile, if anything he had to tone down his grin. The Undersee-Hawthorne cake was a boon in more ways than one. The huge order alone would be almost equal to a month's worth of profits. But, to Peeta the best thing about the cake is that it meant that Gale Hawthorne was no longer standing between him and his heart's greatest desire, Katniss Everdeen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Peeta continues his day baking and icing cakes until seven o'clock, he had been there since three in the morning. The Mellarks no longer keep pigs, so Peeta takes the two-day old bread and lays it neatly on the trash can lid on an old news paper. He knows that the bread and news paper will be gone within minutes of his departure. In the past Peeta has caught glimpses of little grey eyes in the past, just waiting for him to leave, he always pretends not to notice them. Lastly he bags up some baked goods, only one day old, for him and his dad and locks up.

The walk home is short, just a block from the bakery. He walks through the door of his house and hears his dad talking to someone.  _Talking and laughing?_  Upon entering the kitchen he sees his dad sitting across from Mrs. Everdeen. Peeta quickly evaluates the house and he notices it's much messier than usual. Cleaning house has been the last thing on his to do list. Dirty dishes fill the sink, papers and books are stacked on the kitchen table, and a layer of dust covers everything.

"Hi." Peeta pleasantly calls to them.

"Hi there son." his dad replies happily. "Oh, where are my manners? Lily this is my youngest son Peeta. Peeta, this is Mrs. Everdeen."

Peeta shakes her hand and gives her a friendly smile, "Lovely to finally make your acquaintance, Mrs. Everdeen."

"Why thank you, Peeta," she smiles back. Peeta couldn't help but to notice how similar her features were to Katniss's, the slope of the nose and her full lips were nearly identical. Although their coloring was totally different, Mrs. Everdeen was pale, blonde, and had eyes the color of corn flowers. While Katniss had hair the color of coffee, olive skin, and her grey eyes always reminded Peeta of the color of the sky right before a storm.

"I was just telling Lily…uh, Mrs. Everdeen about how shorthanded we are and how we could use some more help around here and the bakery." His dad tells him with a stealthy wink. This was their secret code to play along with whatever the other one said. This was a well practiced skill in this house as a result of having had to walk on eggshells with his mom all of the time. "And she said that her oldest daughter, Katniss, was looking for at least a part time job."

"Is that so?" Peeta says trying to sound only mildly interested, but inside he was ecstatic.  _Katniss Everdeen in my house and working beside me in the bakery that's only what I've been dreaming of since I was five years old!_

"Yes, I would hate to see her have to work in the mines." Mrs. Everdeen admits in a low tone.

 _Me too,_ Peeta thinks to himself. "So when could she start?" Peeta asks causally.

"Any time, I think." Mrs. Everdeen says. "She has no _legal_  employment at the moment. But, I think you know that, being the biggest consumers of squirrels in the Merchant's sector."

All three of them share a knowing look, Katniss has a job but hunting was far from being legal.

"Why don't you have here stop by the bakery so we can talk to her about it." Mr. Mellark suggests to her.

"I'll do that," Mrs. Everdeen looks at the clock. "It's that time already…I've been here almost two hours! Well, Hank, don't forget what I told you. No coffee or spicy foods and try to relax. I'll send some medicine with Katniss tomorrow that should help with the ulcers. "

"Thank you, Lily," says warmly. "It was so nice to catch up with you."

"You too," she replies as she rises to leave.

"How much do I owe you Mrs. Everdeen?" Peeta reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet.

"Oh, nothing, it was a favor for an old friend," she insists.

"Well at least take some bread home with you, I brought more home than we can eat before it gets stale." Peeta offers her, and scans the two bags he brought home. "Here are some cheese buns."

"Alright," she concedes and takes the bag. Mrs. Everdeen seems to examine Peeta for a moment, and a bittersweet expression graces her face. "I'll have Katniss meet you at the bakery in the morning. Bye, Hank…Peeta"

Mrs. Everdeen leaves the two Mellarks with smiles on their faces. The elder, happily contented with time and memories he had just shared with his childhood sweetheart. The younger is happily optimistic about what tomorrow might bring.


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not Suzanne Collins, therefore I don't own The Hunger Games.
> 
> Thanks to kismet4891 for being my beta! If you're not read her stuff….well then you should.

** **

 

Banner by ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 2**

**Katniss**

Katniss felt incredibly uneasy standing on Head Peacekeeper Cray's [back door](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=back%20door) step. In the past, Gale had always insisted on being the one to handle the trades with Cray, especially as she became older. But, Gale was no longer hunting or trading, he could not risk it with his new job and soon to be new wife. Uncomfortable or not, Katniss had no choice but to deal with Cray herself now.

She knocked for a second time and waited for a moment before she decided to leave, she was disappointed, Cray paid better than anybody for wild turkey, although she was relieved because she wouldn't have to see him. As she turned to leave the door opened, and Cray popped his head through. The Head Peacekeeper gave Katniss the creeps, everyone knew of his penchant for paid sex with the district's most desperate women and girls. He was pushing fifty, with thick, short limbs, a pot belly and he was bald, although he thought that he was fooling everybody with a pathetic comb over. Cray looked her up and down and smirked, "I've been waiting a long time to see _you_  on my door step."

The comment was loaded, it could have held multiple implications. So Katniss decided to play innocent, and held her bag between them and said coldly. "Turkeys have been kind of hard to come by lately."

He leered at her a moment then stepped out the door to stand near her and suggested in a husky voice, "Turkey or not, you're always welcome here."

Cray stood in his robe, which was only half closed, the door was wide open and she could see that the TV was on. She caught a glimpse of a group of naked people writhing in a pile,  _he was watching a porno_. Katniss pushed the bile in her throat back down as she realized what he had been doing and why it took him so long to answer the door. Her face reddened in disgust and irritation, ignoring the revolting sight she pushed the transaction along and pulled the turkey out of the game sack. "I got him through the eye. All of the meat is good."

He took the turkey from her hand and inspected it, "Looks good, ten coins?" She nodded in reply. Cray disappeared back into the house and returned moments later, with coins in hand. Katniss was relieved when he shut the door behind him and she extended her hand to take the coins, but Cray pulled his hand back and spoke. "Miss Everdeen, I have a piece of business I would like to run by you."

"Oh," Katniss feigned interest. She just wanted to get her coins and leave.

"I'm retiring soon," he started, "and, as you may or may not know, when Peacekeepers retire they are then allowed to marry and start families."

Katniss remained silent, not knowing where the conversation was going, she would leave but Cray had both the turkey, and the coins. Not to mention, being rude to the Head Peacekeeper was not a good idea, especially when you're a known law breaker.

"I need a good, healthy young woman to have my children and to keep my bed warm…I think that you would fit the bill nicely, you've turned into an attractive young woman. You've got merchant features with Seam coloring, that's a striking combination, very rare. I've been watching you for a long time now."

Katniss's mouth hung open, but no words came out, she was in shock.

"Before you say anything hear me out." He told her and reached his hand out and stroked her braid on her shoulder. The back of his hand brushed her cheek, and Katniss shivered in disgust. "I could give you a good life, nice house, plenty of food, we could stay here or I could arrange for us to move to a better district. [All you](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=all%20you) would have to do is marry me and bear my children."

"I have no interest in marriage or children." Katniss spat out and stepped back. It was the truth, she never wanted to marry anyone, let alone Cray. She didn't even want to think about doing what it took to make babies with  _him._

Cray cocked an eyebrow, and donned a sleazy smile. "Is that why Hawthorne and you broke it off? Do you not like men? Because if that's the case, it wouldn't be a deal breaker, in fact, that would be a perk. I would let you keep a girlfriend as long as you let me watch… and on occasion participate."

Katniss had to physically put her hand to her mouth to keep from throwing up, and she could feel the blood drain from her face. She had no interest in women like _that_  let alone sharing one with Cray. Any mention of sex made her uncomfortable, even in normal conversation, and this was far beyond normal. The whole conversation had gone from bad to worse. All she wanted to do was kick him in the balls for speaking to her like that and run away.

"Don't answer me right now." He said as he reached out with his fist full of coins. "Just remember, my replacement may not be as willing to turn a blind eye to your transgressions, as I am. You'll need a new way to provide for your family soon. I would hate to see you or your pretty little sister resorting to waiting out by the street light all hours of the night. Think about it, with me you would only have one man to service."

Remaining silent Katniss collected the coins and turned to leave. "Oh, Katniss," lowly whispered, before she was on her way. "I'll give you a few more coins to come inside and clean my bird."

 _Another loaded comment!_ "Sorry," Katniss apologized with all of the politeness she could muster. "I have some place to be right now."

"Where is that, may I ask?" He inquired, sounding a little annoyed.

Thankfully, she really did have some where to be. She needed to get to Mellark's Bakery to talk to the baker about a job, and she wouldn't put it past Cray to check on her story. "I have to take medicine to the bakery," she answered truthfully then left briskly. She felt the need to go home and wash, the discussion had made her feel filthy.  _How could he ask me all of that so causally?_  She wondered as she walked to town towards the bakery.

Recently, Katniss realized how people's misperceptions of her and Gale's relationship had kept her safe over the years. Now that he was with Madge publically, and they were going to be married in a week, Katniss was being approached by several men. Cray was just the latest, most crude, and by far most repulsive to approach her. A few coal miners had hinted at a courtship with her. Even Darius, the likable Peacekeeper, tired to get her to sneak out to the slag heap with him; although, she couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

Katniss and Gale were at one time best friends, and only that. After the reaping for the 74th Hunger Games, things changed for them, the night after the reaping Katniss tried to comfort Gale. The male tribute, Thom Hadley, had been a good friend of his. They watched the games together, Gale held her, and started to treat her differently. After Thom was announced as the Victor, Katniss hugged Gale and he whispered in her ear that he had started to think about her differently, romantically. Katniss pushed him away and had dismissed the idea as nonsense. She would never marry and have children, she told him vehemently, he tried to convince her otherwise. Katniss wanted their friendship to be like it used to be, and pretended like his admission never happened. She hoped that when Gale started to work in the mines that it all would be forgotten.

But, it was not forgotten and Gale would not give up easily, he tried to persuade her time and again, "Come on, we can run and live out in the woods, live happy and have children out there." Gale even kissed her a few times, in hopes of appealing to her physical side. She had enjoyed the kisses, but that's what frightened her, she could not afford that kind of weakness. Katniss told Gale that he needed to [find someone](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=find%20someone) who could be his wife, because it would never be her. Finally, after months of rejection Gale finally gave up his pursuit of Katniss's love and became her friend again, although it was never the same again. The only thing that kept it from being totally awkward, was the fact that the only time they ever really saw each other was on Sundays, and that was to hunt. Apparently, their occasional appearances had been enough for people to think that they were still an item, although they technically had never been to begin with.

Enter Madge Undersee. The reading of the card for the third Quarter Quell called for the descendants of former victors to be in the reaping pool, no volunteers allowed. Katniss was relieved that she didn't have to worry about Prim or herself being reaped for at least one year. But, she panicked when she found out whose name would be in the bowl. Her lunchtime acquaintance, Madge, whose great grandfather had been District 12's long forgotten first victor. She, and eight other Merchant children, all of them related, since the only other Victor Haymitch Abernathy never had any children, five girls and four boys were up for the reaping. The odds were not in Madge's favor, she was the oldest of the girls and her name was in more times. Madge had asked Katniss to help her prepare for the possibility of being reaped. Katniss was happy to try and help her, Madge after all, was the closest thing to a friend she had besides Gale, and that relationship was not what it had been.

Katniss showed her how to climb trees, set simple snares, taught her about editable plants, and even tried showing her how to shoot. Madge was a fast learner and excelled at her lessons, as well as a Merchant kid who never stepped outside of the fence before could. After much internal debate, Katniss decided that Madge needed to learn to defend herself against another tribute. Gale was the only person that she knew who could fight. He took a lot of convincing, but he finally agreed to help Madge.

Katniss watched the two, at first Gale was apprehensive, but he eventually warmed up to Madge. He showed how to throw and block a punch, knock a bigger opponent down, and to hit someone where it hurts. Eventually, Madge became so good that she gave Katniss a wicked black eye while they were sparing. Gale ran to Madge's side to check her hand, leaving Katniss to hold the side of her face as she lay on the ground. On another occasion, it seemed to Katniss that Gale looked liked he enjoyed wrestling with Madge, especially being pinned by her. It was then she suspected that Gale and Madge might have feelings for each other. She never said anything to either one of them, it was not her place, besides it had not bothered her like she thought it would. Anyway it was a moot point as Madge had a very high likelihood of being reaped, and even if she wasn't the chances of the mayor's only child marrying a poor coal miner were lower than a twelve year old Merchant kid being reaped and winning the games.

Fate favored Madge and her name was not called by Effie Trinket. The twelve year old apothecary's son was reaped for the third Quarter Quell, along with the fourteen year old seamstress's daughter, both of them were killed in the blood bath along with fifteen others. It seemed that almost everyone had the idea to train the possible tributes that year. A career, Sheashell, from District 4 won the games, her grandma and mentor, Mags, was on the hovercraft to pick her up.

After the reaping, Katniss returned to her old routine, lunch at school with Madge and hunting on Sundays with Gale. But things were different now, Madge and she talked more and sometimes Katniss was invited to the mayor's home to visit. While at the same time, she and Gale talked less, they spoke only of hunting and exchanged pleasantries, just like when they first started to hunt together, the closeness that they once shared was all but gone. Things had shifted, Madge had become the best friend and Gale was more like the acquaintance. Over time it became apparent that things would never go back to the way they had been before Gale proclaimed his love.

Katniss had not given anymore thought about a possible relationship between Gale and Madge, since they no longer saw each other anymore or at least they had no reason to. Anyway, someone else had started to catch her attention, the boy with the bread. Over the years, she often had the feeling that he was staring at her, but now she found herself staring at Peeta Mellark. It started in the winter during the school's wrestling tournament. Peeta was the defending champion and most everyone was already cheering for him. Typically, Katniss would do nothing more than clap politely for the contestants, but for Peeta she caught herself yelling his name along with the crowd as he defeated his challenger. She hadn't even realized that she had been doing it until Madge had given her a curious look. Katniss quickly dismissed it as a severe dislike for his opponent, Dirk Miller. Madge bought the story, she had witnessed the previous week Dirk calling Katniss a 'coal dust covered whore' when she ignored his advances.

Katniss told herself that her interest was only because of his kind act, he had tossed her the bread in the rain, so many years ago, and she owed him thanks that she had never given him. She convinced herself that her fascination with him was a result of her debt she still owed him, and not because he had the most brilliantly blue eyes that she'd ever seen; or the way he filled out his wrestling uniform. Although, she could not explain away why she felt so possessive of him, or why she was so annoyed to see Ramona Barger, the barber's daughter, hanging off his strong arm in the spring. Katniss found everything about Ramona obnoxious, from her silly, immature personality, bleached blonde hair, crooked teeth, and the snotty way she treated everyone she thought was beneath her. From everything that she had observed of Peeta, she knew that he was a good guy and he deserved someone so much better than Ramona, who was already talking about him like they were married. But, what was Katniss to do? She had no say in his life, so she tried to ignore him and carry on with her own, which consisted of taking care of Prim, hunting and very little else.

Life continued on, and eventually the reaping for the 76th Hunger Games had arrived. When Katniss stood with the other eighteen year olds she found herself pleading with Effie Trinket in her head,  _not Prim, not Rory, not Vick, not Madge, and please not Peeta._  Thankfully, none of their names, or hers, was picked,her last reaping had come to pass and she was now free from the worry of entering into the Games. From now on, she'd only have to fret for Prim, but she was as safe as a merchant kid. Katniss had worked hard to prevent Prim from ever taking out a tesserae. New worries came to replace the old ones, now that Katniss was done with school she would have to get a job to replace what they would lose from Katniss's tesserae allotment. The mines were the only real option for a steely girl from the Seam. There was only one problem with that, the mines terrified her more than the threat of being reaped did. The nightmares of her father's death still haunt her to this day

Everything seemed to change at once in her life. Prim was fifteen and beginning to be well known as a healer in her own right, and she didn't rely on Katniss as much as she used to. Katniss's education was through, you were considered to be graduated after your final reaping and no more school also meant no more seeing Madge every day. When Katniss dropped by to visit Madge a couple of weeks ago, Madge was distracted and even more quiet than usual. Katniss asked what was wrong.

Madge sighed and started to cry. "Katniss I have something to tell you. I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn't know how to bring it to you. Plus, I never thought that serious anything would come of it. I want you to know that we never wanted to hurt you. It started so innocently…." Madge paused to dry her tears.

"Madge, what are you talking about?" Katniss asked totally ignorant about what Madge was so upset about.

"Katniss," Madge said quietly. "Gale and I are in love, and we're getting married. It started while you two helped me train for the Quarter Quell. He would sneak into my window to see me after his shift in the mines, we did that for almost a year. My dad found out about us a few weeks ago. I thought that he would kick Gale out of the house, or have him arrested, but instead he was happy for us and offered to get Gale a good job."

The only thing that Katniss could do was stare at Madge in disbelief, she had long suspected a mutual attraction between Gale and Madge but a real relationship, an engagement, was too much to take in all at once.

"Katniss, please say something." Madge pleaded. "I resisted at first, thinking that there was something between you and Gale. But, then he told me about what had happened when he told you about how he felt about you. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of losing your friendship, so was Gale, so we kept it quiet. You're the only real friend I have besides Gale and I love him so much. I can't stand the thought of losing one of you. And I'm so sorry, we both are, Gale wanted to be here to tell you, but he's been so busy training for his new job."

"Oh, Madge," Katniss breathed. "I'm happy for you. I'm just shocked…You're dad is happy about all of this, and wants you to get married?"

"Yes!" Madge laughed, and looked relieved.

Madge hugged Katniss and started to rattle off plans for her [new house](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=new%20house), and the toasting. But, what surprised Katniss the most was the excitement that Madge expressed when she spoke about Gale and how happy she was to have a large family around, especially his siblings. Katniss could not bring herself to be upset with Madge. Gale was a different story, he could have said something, but then she remembered that they hadn't been all that close for a while. Katniss realized that perhaps part of the reason their friendship had changed was because he had a new best friend, Madge. He had simply taken her advice, and found someone who wanted to marry him. Katniss had never felt so alone, yet she put on a smile for Madge and listened to her happy chatter and agreed to come to their toasting party.

Katniss found herself in front of the bakery, she was late, thanks to Cray keeping her longer than she had planned. Hopefully, the baker wouldn't hold it against her, she really needed the job, especially now. She looked down at her [hunting clothes](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=hunting%20clothes), Katniss wished that she had changed into something a little nicer. Her mom had tried to get her to change, but she had to go hunting, because the tesserae grain was nearly gone.  _At least I got a couple of squirrels this morning, which will explain my appearance,_  she thought _._

Reaching out to knock on the back door, Katniss gasped in surprise when the door swung open and there stood Peeta Mellark, who looked equally shocked to see her standing there. A brief awkward silence followed as they stared at each other, "Oh, hi Katniss," Peeta broke the stale mate with a smile and pleasant greeting. "We were starting to wonder when you would get here."

Katniss tried to explain her tardiness, "Well, I would have been here sooner, but Cray held me up." Peeta's face flashed a concerned look.  _Oh shit, that didn't sound right!_  She thought, and  _s_ o she quickly added. "With a turkey trade."

"Oh okay," Peeta breathed out and looked relieved. "Um, Dad is inside so why don't you come in."

The baker, whom she had always liked, sat next to the counter talking to his older son Graham, when he first noticed her. "Katniss, how are you today?" He asked kindly.

"Fine, thank you," she answered politely, hoping to impress him with her best manners. "And you?"

"I've been better, but seeing you here makes me better." He said, and he was not the type to say something and not be sincere about it.

She pulled out a paper bag from her pocket, "Here, before I forget, my mom sent you this, the directions on how to take it are written on the side of the bag."

"Thank you," he said, as he took the bag from her. "So, your mother said that you need a job?"

"Yes sir." Katniss answered, she looked around, both Peeta and Graham were still in the room, and she really didn't like to speak in front of other people. Graham must have sensed her discomfort and waved to Peeta, they went to the front of the store.

Mr. Mellark explained to Katniss about how shorthanded they were in their home and bakery, they wanted her to clean house a couple days a week, and work in the bakery the rest of the time. He wanted her five days a week, for at least four hours a day. He mentioned that Graham was also interested in having her help in his house, at least until after the baby came. She would be paid three coins an hour, plus some left over baked goods. After he explained all of the details Mr. Mellarks admitted, "I know it isn't much, I wish we could give you more, but it's all we can afford at the moment."

Katniss quickly did the calculations in her head, sixty coins a week plus bread, and she would still have time to hunt. There was no place in the district that would pay her so well, other than the mines.

"Oh no, that would be wonderful!" Katniss exclaimed, a bit more loudly than she had intended. The need for a job had become more urgent since Cray's proposal this morning, maybe if he saw that she had a job he would not approach her again.

"Okay, I'll have you start tomorrow." Mr. Mellark smiled.

The bell rang from the front of the store, a few moments later Peeta walked in, his face serious, and in a low tone said, "Dad, Cray is here and wants to talk to you a moment."

Before Mr. Mellark could say a word the door swung wide open and Cray stepped in, and his eyes scanned around the room. He looked a little surprised to see Katniss, he obviously had thought that she was lying earlier. Katniss could see Peeta staring daggers at Cray, whom had pushed his way in front him.

"How can I help you today Mr. Cray?" Mr. Mellarks asked coldly yet respectfully.

"I-I was just wondering if you had any fresher bread, I'm having turkey for dinner and I want only the best at my table." Cray said dryly, then looked in Katniss's direction.

"Yes, there is some in the oven right now," stated. "I'll have the boys get you some the moment it's ready. If you excuse me right now, I'm taking my new employee home to show her where she'll be keeping house. Katniss come along now, please."

Mr. Mellark rose to leave and Katniss followed him, this move was not expected but she was glad it happened, now Cray knew she had a job. Mr. Mellark waited for her at the door, and then he did something strange, he puts a arm around Katniss in an affectionate manner and looked back at Cray. She never realized how big he was until she was in his embrace.  _He must be the largest man in the district_ , she thought. Cray looked tiny standing in the same room as Peeta and Mr. Mellark. "I'll see you later ."

He steered her down the alley, and he never removed his arm.

"Mr. Mellark?..."

"Please, call me Hank." He told her happily.

"Why did you do that in front of Cray?" Katniss asked, slightly confused.

"Well, I just wanted him to know that you have people who are looking out for you." He gave her a light squeeze.

For the first time, in a long time, Katniss didn't know why, but she felt a little more optimistic about the future.


	3. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to kismet4891, my beta.

 

banner by Ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 3**

**Peeta**

Peeta's life seemed to revolve around the Undersee- Hawthorne cake. He painstakingly measured and mixed the ingredients, after all this was the most expensive, largest cake he would likely ever make. Madge had chosen the most costly type of cake available to District 12, chocolate. He had been so involved at the bakery that he could not even enjoy the fact that Katniss was in his immediate proximity. However, it seemed like they were never in the same room together, and on the rare occasion that they were Peeta's attempts at small talk were nipped in the bud with one word answers.

"How was hunting today?" He would ask.

"Fine," she would respond politely, clearly not inviting more conversation.

"Lovely weather we're having." He announced cheerfully.

"Yes." She agreed without looking up from her work.

Katniss had spent most of her time in the house. Peeta's mother had invited herself and his great aunt Vesta over for Sunday dinner. So his dad had Katniss cleaning the house, his reasoning was that hiring Katniss would be more acceptable to his mom if the house was already spotless. Peeta and his father were hoping that the old adage of 'it is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission' would prove true, plus making the announcement in front Aunt Vesta would work in their favor. His mother was usually on her best behavior in front of her aunt. Peeta's mom had always been against hiring a maid. Housekeeping was for Seam women and she did not want Seam people in  _her_  home, they would certainly rob  _her_  blind.

Two days before the wedding, the cakes are baked and Peeta is waiting for the strawberries before he can continue. Gale Hawthorne was supposed to be bringing them in today, so Peeta shaped the cakes as he waited. A knock at the door alerted the presence of a visitor, Peeta's hands were full so he called, "Come in."

"Hi there," Gale said, carrying a bucket filled to the brim with strawberries. "We're in luck! There were a lot more berries ripe than I thought there would be."

"Good," Peeta replied distracted, he was carefully leveling the cake. After the he shaved the top off he looked up at Gale, "Sorry about that, I didn't want lose my concentration." Peeta removed the excess cake and offered Gale a piece, "Here taste it let me know what you think."

"That's fine. Good cake," Gale told him with his mouth full. "I never knew that baking was so intense. Man look at your arms, where haven't you been burnt?"

"Oh, occupational hazard, I don't even notice 'em anymore. Baking is meticulous, more so than intense," Peeta humbly confessed after he glanced at the series of pink shiny patches covering his fore arms. "Coal mining and hunting are intense, this is kid's stuff in comparison."

Gale regarded Peeta, stunned. "You surprise me Mellark, most Merchants don't feel that way. To them, coal mining is for simpletons and it's only dangerous because we're stupid or perpetually drunk. But, I've noticed that you're not like most of them."

"Well what can I say," Peeta replied evenly. "Merchants aren't all the same, which is also true in the Seam; people are people on both ends of the district. I'm sure that you've figured that one out already, judging by who you're marrying."

"Yeah, I never imagined that I would be marrying the mayor's daughter, even when I started seeing her, I never even let myself hope that we could end up together." Gale admitted. "Up until about a year ago, I thought that my life would turn out differently. I'd be a miner until I was crippled or dead, and I'd have a different girl for a wife."

Peeta nodded, he didn't need to be told who exactly it was that Gale spoke of, he knew it was Katniss. "Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you planned."

After a few moments of silence, Gale looked around the room to make sure that they were alone and said lowly. "So how is Katniss doing? I heard that she was working for your family."

"She's doing well I think, the house is much cleaner than it had been lately. My dad raves about her, which is amazing considering he hardly ever talks. But, I haven't got to see her much. She isn't much for conversation is she?" Peeta joked.

"No, she isn't," Gale laughed. "When we started to hunt together it took her over a year to warm up to me. She and Madge sat together for years before they ever really became friends. Her trust is not easily won. So if she seems like she's unfriendly, don't be offended it's just her way." There was something off about the way he said that last part, made Peeta stop and look him in the eye.

"I'll keep that in mind." Peeta could not believe that he was talking to Gale Hawthorne about Katniss Everdeen.

"Hey," Gale voice dropped to a near whisper. "Have you noticed anybody following her or checking up on her, like say a Peacekeeper?"

"Cray was in here a few days ago, in fact, the day that she got the job." Peeta told him in the same low tone. "He tried to play it off like he was just shopping, but I know that he had been following her. She said that she had been to his house before she came here. My dad thought that Cray was trying to intimidate her into selling her game to him cheaper, but I think that something else is going on. I didn't like the way he was looking at her."

"I'd say that you're right. Cray has no problem paying well for fresh game." Gale looked at Peeta, his face suddenly serious. "I have a favor to ask of you."

Peeta tilted his head in a nod, urging Gale to continue. "Could you sometimes walk her home and look after her…I know that you do anyway."

Peeta's jaw dropped, he didn't know how to respond and was speechless.  _Gale knew his secret_.

Gale smiled and shook his head. "Let's just say, when you're in love with a girl, you know who else is checking out her ass."

Flabbergasted, Peeta wasn't sure what to say.  _Should I deny it or should I own up to it_? Finally, Peeta hung his head a little, he thought that he had always been subtle, but there was no point trying to deny his feelings now. "You knew?"

"Yeah, I knew the whole time." Gale told him. "You certainly weren't the only one, but you look at her differently than the other guys do. They look at her like she's a piece of meat, something to be used than tossed aside. You look at her with reverence; it's more like longing rather than lust …I never understood how that felt until I fell in love with Madge, now I get it."

"I never would have tried to but in," Peeta told him honestly, "between you and Katniss."

"Well there was never anything to break up, believe me, it was not due to lack of trying on my part. She told me that she didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about her. I'm glad of it now, otherwise you'd probably be making a much smaller cake, and I'd be preparing to fight with Katniss like cats and dogs for the next few decades. We never would have been able to get along, we're too much alike, but I still love her as a friend."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Peeta asked, confused as to why Gale was being so open with him, after all this was only the second conversation that he'd had with him.

"I'm worried about her," Gale confessed. "Don't tell anybody, not even Katniss. Cray has been looking up her files."

"Files?"

"Since I started working at the government office I've found out a lot of stuff that would make you sick. Like when they take a drop blood from you on reaping day, they just don't use it to identify you. They also run [DNA tests](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=dna%20tests) and health screenings on everyone. The Capitol likes to keep tabs on its population. For example, have you ever noticed that a pregnant girl has never been reaped? Or a chronically ill kid? It won't ever happen, because it would reflect badly on the games. Apparently even Capitol citizens don't like the thought of killing an expectant mother or a sick child."

"What about the kid with the messed up foot a couple years ago?" Peeta wondered aloud. "My mom's crippled cousin died in the games when she was a kid."

"Physical disabilities don't show up in a blood test. Besides they throw those kids in once every few years so nobody gets the idea to cap their kid's knee in order to avoid the games, that's my theory anyway. I suppose watching a kid with a limp not being able to run away from a career is more entertaining than an asthmatic dying on their platform before the buzzer goes off."

After a few seconds of mulling over what he'd been told Peeta inquired. "What does all of this have to do with Cray looking up information on Katniss?"

"Cray has been quite open with the fact that he is looking for a potential wife as soon as he retires. So he's been going through the records, pulling up files on pretty girls, possible mothers of his future children and he has pulled out Katniss's several times." Gale's tone was sober, belying the serious nature of what he had just confided in the blonde baker. "She has outstanding genetics, according to the Capitol."

"So why tell me all of this, and not her?" Peeta asked. "Why not tell her mom?"

"I don't want to scare Mrs. Everdeen or Prim," Gale stated simply. "I'm sure you've noticed how oblivious Katniss can be when it comes to men, her instincts are great outside of the fence, but when it comes to people she is clueless. After all, she's never realized that you've been drooling all over her for years now."

"Thanks," Peeta chuckled out of embarrassment.

Gale smiled briefly, then continued. "Katniss would think that telling Cray 'no' would be enough. Unfortunately in this case, I don't think that 'no' will dissuade him. No one has ever seen him so intent on a girl before, usually he just lets them come to him. But, perhaps he thinks differently about snagging a wife. He can be very determined, there was a reason he was appointed Head Peacekeeper. I don't want to see any girl from the district being coerced into marrying him, let alone a girl that was once my best friend. "

"So let me get this straight," Peeta said after a moment of quiet relfection. " _You,_  want  _me_  to pretend to be Katniss's boyfriend so that Cray will leave her alone."

"Yes, something like that."

"Why not get one of your friends to do it?"

"Because Cray would be less likely to challenge a big, broad Merchant man," Gale relayed. "Especially one that is famously strong and well liked by most everyone. So, would you be willing to do it?"

"I think that you already know the answer to that, of course I would do anything to keep her safe." Peeta's answer was sincere. "Although, I think that your plan hinges on Katniss's reaction to all of this, I don't know her as well as you do, but I don't see her letting me help her like that."

"Oh, I know she won't, she's too proud," Gale confessed with a knowing grin. "That's why we aren't going to say anything about this conversation to her."

"So how am I going to be able to pull this off without her cooperation?" Peeta bewilderedly asked.

"Luckily Katniss isn't the type to bite the hand that feeds her and her family. As long as you do it subtly, she might not notice or she'll let it slide. If Cray approaches her then she might see the necessity of it." Gale told him confidently. "And who knows, she may actually allow herself to like you someday. You kind of grow on people. I've tried to hate you a lot over the years… it never worked, you and your stupid kindness. But, let me warn you now, if you would ever get close to her, don't tell her you love her until she says it first… That's how I scared her away." The last words were spoken not in regret, but caution.

"How should I start?"

"How about you bring her to Madge and I's toasting?" Gale suggested. "The mayor had to invite Cray out of courtesy. You can get your dad to tell her that you need her help to carry and set up the cake."

Peeta considered it for a moment, "Okay, I'll try that."

"Thank you." Gale said in a normal tone, finally marking the end of their hushed conversation. "I guess I'll see you in a couple of days. Oh, by the way, watch out for Posy, you been all she's talked about for days now, she will hunt you down for that dance."

"I'll keep that in mind," Peeta laughed. "After I step on her toes once or twice she won't be so impressed with me."

"Just remember," Gale teasingly warned. "You break my little sister's heart, I'll break your head."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two days later, Peeta's conversation with Gale replayed in his head as he waited for Katniss to meet him at the bakery. The cakes were boxed up and are ready to go. Peeta paced in his brand new shoes, they were a graduation gift from his parents, the first pair that he has ever had, that had not already been broken in by his brothers before him. He fiddled with his suit and cobalt blue tie, [graduation gifts](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=graduation%20gifts) from his Great Aunt Vesta, she gave a suit to each boy after their last Reaping. The charcoal grey suit was like most every suit that was give to Merchant boys at their coming of age. It was made from cheap material, and was made with extra length at the seams so as time progressed it could be let out. Most Merchant men in District 12 would only own one suit (or if you were from the Seam none at all) in the course of their lives, something to be worn to toastings, funerals, and eventually to be buried in. It was getting hot fast and Peeta internally debated about wearing it at all, but he decided to wear it at least until after the toasting, the mayor was going to be there after all, he wanted to look respectable.

Peeta told his dad that he wanted to have Katniss to help transport the cakes. Mr. Mellark was more than happy to comply and asked Katniss to help Peeta. His dad was not told the real reason, about the favor that Gale had asked of his son. Although, Mr. Mellark knew how his youngest felt about the dark haired girl from that first day of school so long ago. In fact, their secret had perhaps been the reason why he was closer with Peeta than he was with his other sons.

Peeta heard the [door knob](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=door%20knob) turn, he turned away from the door and pretended to have been busy with the boxes.

"Peeta," Katniss called out softly, before she entered the door. "Sorry I'm late, Mom and Prim were fussing with my hair and I couldn't get away."

"That's okay," He said while he stacked the boxes and then he shifted to face her. The sight that Peeta beheld took his breath away. She was not in her pale blue reaping dress that he had imagined her in today. Instead she wore a red [cotton dress](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=cotton%20dress) with black polka dots, it was form fitting at the top, with capped sleeves, leaving her collar bones exposed along with slight hint of cleavage, and the skirt flowed from her waist to just above her knees. Her shoes were black patent leather with kitten heels. Her hair was pulled into a loose side bun.

"Wow," Peeta breathed as he admired her curves, she seemed even more shapely now then she did just a few weeks ago at their last Reaping. He liked the dress, he instantly decided. "You look …" He mentally searched for the right word, something to let her know how wonderful she looked, yet wouldn't overwhelm her.

Katniss blushed and looked to the ground, "I know, silly. The dress was a graduation gift, it's too much, I tried to get my mom to return it but she refused."

"No, I think you look beautiful. The [dress suits](http://hotstartsearch.com/searchy/?q=dress%20suits) you," He sincerely said. "Red is a good color on you, it always has been."

For a brief second, Katniss gave Peeta a curious expression, and then shifted uncomfortably. It was obvious that she didn't take compliments well, and she said quietly. "Thank you… You look nice too…the blue tie make your eyes look even bluer."

"Thanks," Peeta replied in an upbeat tone. "It's the first time I've gotten to be to wear something that didn't reek of Rhyes."

Peeta's joke was rewarded by a small, genuine smile. His heart leapt at the sight, he'd been waiting to make her smile for as long as he could remember.

"Well we'd better get going. I'd like to be set up before the guests get there." Peeta suggested. He gave Katniss the two smaller of the boxes, and he carried the two larger ones. They walked in a comfortable silence. Katniss seemed to be concentrating on not letting the cakes shift. Peeta noticed that she was a little unwieldy on her small heels.

They soon found the comfortable newly painted, Merchant house that stood next door to the mayor's massive home. Mayor Undersee had been able to pull some strings and got a larger house then would be typically given to a newlywed couple, Gale's mom and siblings would be moving in with them. Gale and Madge would live on the lower floor and Hazelle, Rory, Vick, and Posy would live upstairs and they would share the kitchen. Everyone seemed content with the arrangement, Madge was loved by the Hawthornes, and she loved having a big family.

Posy answered the door and squealed in delight, at the sight of Peeta or the cake he wasn't sure. He pulled a small bag that he had concealed in his pocket. "Hi Posy," He told the little girl and handed her the bag. "I brought you something to tide you over until it's time for cake."

Katniss gave Peeta an odd look, and he just winked in return.

Posy gasped when she opened the bag and pulled out a pink iced cookie that almost perfectly matched her dress and ribbons. "Oh, thank you, the last one was so good." Hazelle had just entered the room to see what all of the fuss was about. "Mommy, look at what Peeta brought me!"

Hazelle warmly greeted them, and Katniss introduced her to Peeta. Hazelle smiled at him, "Cookies and blonde hair. No wonder Posy is so taken with you, all my children have a fascination with blondes it seems."

"I don't know why," Peeta told Hazelle as he playfully tugged on one of Posy's braids. "Everyone knows that dark brown hair is the prettiest."

Peeta couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw Katniss blush at his comment.

They were shown the table where the cake was to sit, he carefully stacked the cakes and with a piping bag he seamlessly welded them together into one. Katniss kept Posy quiet so Peeta could work in relative peace, and she watched in wonderment as he worked. Peeta finished just minutes before the mayor and the bulk of the guests arrived, all that was left to do was wait for the couple return from the Justice Building. The crowd was an eclectic mix of the Seam and Merchant classes, although the bulk was from the Merchant end. Everyone who was important was there, government workers, mine managers, the Hunger Games Victors (Haymitch Abernathy was already drunk), and lastly the highest ranking Peacekeepers, including Cray. Peeta tried to size him up, and sure enough Cray's gaze seemed to find Katniss where ever she happened to be; greeting her sister and Rory, chatting with Hazelle, or straightening the table cloth where the cake sat.

The happy couple finally arrived and the crowd cheered, the fireplace, toasting sticks, and fluffy white bread were already set up for the couple. Peeta found Katniss with her sister near the cake table, Prim was inspecting his handy work. "Oh, Peeta you've out done yourself this time!" Prim gushed, she was friendly with everyone, but she sincerely liked Peeta and admired his talent. "The yellow roses look real, truly your best work."

"You're familiar with my work?" He teasingly asked. "How do you know that I did it? Maybe Katniss did it."

"Katniss can't draw a stick figure!" Prim laughed loudly, and Katniss rolled her eyes at her sister's comment. "Your dad told me years ago that you did all of the cakes, I can tell it's your work. Katniss has been taking me to look at the cakes ever since I was little. If it tastes half as good as it looks, it will be the best cake ever."

"You're too kind, but thank you Prim." Peeta said humbly.

Mayor Undersee entered the room, his spacey looking wife hung on his arm. "Everybody gather round, it's time for the toasting!" He proudly announced, and the room was filled to the brim with guests.

Madge and Gale stood before the fire and toasted their bread and fed it to each other after exchanging quiet vows. Peeta couldn't but help but study Katniss instead of the happy couple, he noted how solemn she looked watching the couple. Despite the fact he promised himself that he wouldn't, he was fantasizing that this was their toasting instead, and Katniss was his wife.

The crowd awed as the couple kissed, and then it was time to join hands and prepare to sing the wedding song. Peeta tentatively offered his hand to Katniss, she stared at it for a moment before she looked him in the eyes and took it. Who had his left hand he didn't know and really didn't care, all of his attention was on the small, yet powerful warm hand that was being held in his right. The song began, he lipped the words as he strained to sort out and hear the soft voice that came from Katniss. He had longed to hear  _that_ voice for such a long time, he hadn't heard her sing since they were children. Sure enough it was still as sweet as he remembered. The song ended too soon and Peeta had to tear his gaze from her before she caught him looking.

"Nice lip syncing," Katniss told him sarcastically with a hint of a grin on her lips, and she let go of his hand.

Before Peeta could give her a clever reply, a particularly loud voice from his left side rang out, "Oh, my gosh, you  _never_ want to hear Peetie sing!" Before Peeta even turned he knew who it was, Ramona Barger, and she still had a tight grip on his hand. "Does she? I heard it once and it was terrible!"

"Hi, Ramona," Peeta said with all of the politeness he could draw up as he pulled his hand away. "How are you?"

"Oh, well I've been okay considering how lonely I've been." She whined as she batted her eyes. "I've not seen you around."

"I've been swamped at work," He told her and he noticed that Katniss was no longer at his side. "Peak of the wedding season, you know?" Once the words left his lips he regretted them.

"Believe me I know," Ramona sighed and looked him up and down, and primped her tightly curled hair. "I usually love attending a toasting, but now they make me a little sad." She looked at Peeta waiting for him to respond, he couldn't think of a safe response, so he stayed silent. "You know why?"

"No, I don't," He lied, knowing what her answer would be, that she wished that she was the one toasting. "Sorry Ramona, I have to help serve the cake."

"I thought that's what  _she_  was here for. She works for your family now, doesn't she?" Ramona motioned her head to where Katniss had been standing.

"Yes, but she's here because she's a guest," Peeta informed, and Ramona's face contorted like she had just eaten a lemon. "And she just happened to come with me and is willing to help me. If you'll excuse me, it's time to serve cake, Madge and Gale are ready it looks like."

Peeta left Ramona's side without looking back, Madge and Gale and their mothers were preparing to cut the cake, it was tradition for the new couple to serve the cake to their guests. Peeta showed them how big to cut the pieces, and then he left them to look for Katniss she had disappeared without a trace. He also kept an eye out for Cray, he liked knowing where he was, but he was also absent. Peeta cut through the kitchen and entered the back yard where he ran into Delly.

"Peeta, how are you!" Delly called out happily and then enveloped him in a hug. "I've not seen you in weeks, I've missed you."

"Delly I've missed you too, how are you?" Peeta asked his dear childhood friend, who he regarded as a sister. He wanted to find Katniss, but he knew that he couldn't go running through the party in search of her, he would have to be quiet about it. "Have you snagged a husband yet?"

Delly blushed brightly and giggled. "Oh, Peeta, stop….I haven't found one yet."

"Do you have your eye on one?"

"Maybe," Delly admitted with a sigh. "But he'd never look at me. Besides I've never really been introduced to him."

"Tell me who it is and maybe we can fix that," Peeta suggested.

"Thom Hadley," Delly whispered. "I know, I'm silly, but I just look at him and everything that he's been through and he still seems like the same guy that used to come into the shoe store to have his brother and sister's shoes resoled and patched, but never his own. He was always so nice."

Peeta thought about the district's latest Victor, he had always seemed kind when he came to buy bread and he had not fell into the same bad habits that his mentor had. Thom was typical of a kid from the Seam with olive skin, dark hair, grey eyes, he was of medium height, and still very lanky despite the fact that he was now very well fed. He certainly was not attractive by most people's standards with a large nose and hardly any chin, but that all worked in his favor. The Capitol citizen's fascination with him was short lived and their infatuations with Victors like Finnick Odair continued on. Although Peeta always felt a little sad for him because he knew that most girls who would case Thom, would be simple gold diggers, but in the case of Delly that would not be true, she was the most genuine person you could ever meet.

An idea, popped into Peeta head that would help both him and Delly. "We'll see what we can do about that. I think that Katniss knows Thom pretty well, she can introduce you." Peeta told his friend. "Have you seen her anywhere?"

"Yes, I think I did," Delly scanned the yard. "Cray, pulled her aside earlier." Delly pointed to a group of trees a short distance away and whispered. "She didn't look too happy to see him. I hope that she's not in trouble for hunting."

"I'll catch you later Delly," Peeta waved to Delly and stalked off. As he approached the trees he could hear hushed voices, they stopped when they heard his heavy foot falls. Peeta could see Katniss standing a few feet away from Cray. He quickly put together a plan of action in his head.

"Oh, there you are Katniss!" Peeta called out pleasantly, and then wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. "I've been looking all over the place for you. The dancing is going to start soon and you promised to teach me that one dance, remember?"

Katniss just stared wide eyed at Peeta for a moment, and then a subtle look of relief washed over her face as her arm snaked around his waist. "I nearly forgot!" She said shakily. "Honey."

He squeezed her lightly, kissed the top of her head, and looked at Cray as if he had just noticed him. "Head Peacekeeper Cray, how are you today? Nice day for a toasting isn't it?" Peeta said using his most charming demeanor. "I hope that mine will be so nice someday." He punctuated his words with a not so stealthy wink at Katniss.

"Yes," Cray said curtly. "Are they serving cake yet?"

"Yes, they are." Peeta answered him.

"Well I'll be on my way," Cray told them and walked away. "Good evening."

Katniss stayed close to Peeta until Cray disappeared into the house, as soon as he disappeared she let out a breath. "What are you doing?!" Her voice was somewhere between disbelief and annoyance. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I need to do me a favor," Peeta said seriously. "Ramona, won't leave me alone."

"Isn't she your girlfriend?" Katniss asked confused and stepped away so she could face him.

"No, I broke up with her months ago," Peeta informed her.  _Crap, she thinks that I'm with Ramona!_  "She just forgets that sometimes. Maybe if you hang out with me tonight, she might get the point."

"You want to hang out with a scruffy Seam girl to scare off a Merchant girl?" Katniss asked sarcastically.

"No," Peeta corrected her. "I want to hang out with you. Please believe me when I say you are anything but scruffy. You're the best looking girl here tonight."

Katniss rolled her eyes, obviously not impressed with his charms.

"Come on," He pleaded. "Help me out. I'll owe you one…Please."

"You don't owe me anything," Katniss said in an almost apologetic tone. She hung her head and then said in a near whisper. "I already owe you so much, more than you'll ever know."

Peeta lifted her chin so he could meet her gaze. They looked into each other's eye for a moment, suddenly Katniss broke the brief silence. "I'm starving, and that cake has been calling my name for days now. Then I'll teach you the Seam celebration dance, but I must warn you I am a terrible dancer."

"That's okay," Peeta laughed. "I'm so bad that you'll look great in comparison."

Katniss smiled and Peeta thought,  _I'll never get tired of seeing that._ Peeta lead them into the house, as he silently hoped that there would be several more opportunities and excuses to hold her close tonight.


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to kismet4891, my lovely beta.
> 
> When I originally posted this chapter there was some confusion so I'll explain it now. Chapter 3 was Peeta's POV that ended in the middle of the toasting. This chapter is Katniss's POV leading up to the toasting through the end of the party.

 

Banner by Ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 4**

**Katniss**

Katniss had left work in the Mellarks' home early, on Hank's insistence, so she would have plenty of time to get ready for the toasting. He seemed so happy that she could help Peeta that she could not turn him down. Katniss was finding that her regard for the gentle giant of a baker was turning into real affection. He would pat her head for a job well done, and would occasionally walk her home with his hand on her shoulder.

When she got home, she saw that her mother already had the water boiling for a bath, her dress was pressed, and her under garments were laid out. It felt like Reaping day all over again. Katniss hated her 'husband catching dress', it was far too revealing for her taste and she had no desire to catch a husband. Upon graduation, most girls would get clothing to signify that they were now women, no longer girls, and available for marriage. Merchant girls would typically get a new wardrobe. Seam girls would get a dress, usually store bought. For many, it would be the only brand new, store bought dress they would receive in the entirety of their lives.

"Can't I wear the blue reaping dress?" Katniss asked with venom, when she saw her dress laid out.

"No," her mother said calmly. "Prim can wear it now, blue suits her better. Besides this is the perfect opportunity for you to debut your new dress."

Katniss could tell by the dreamy look on her mother's face and the tone of her voice that arguing would be fruitless. Also, Katniss knew that Prim's nice clothes were too small for her and that there were no other dresses to be had in the house. Her sister's best outfit was nearly thirty years old, it was just another reminder of how financially poor they really were.

In the Seam of District 12, your options in life were few. You were born into poverty, and your parents would struggle to feed and clothe you. When you were a little older, you went to school, took out tesserae, and hoped not to be reaped. If you were lucky enough to never have your name drawn and die in the games, then you would graduate and get a job that just barely provided a living, usually in the mines. When it came time to marry, you would typically pair with whoever your school sweetheart was, simply because it was expected. The young couple would then be placed into a shanty, and expected to call it home.

Some couples would wait to marry so they could save money in order to make life easier, but it was difficult. Most couples tried to put off conceiving a baby as long as they could, but contraceptives were hard to come by in the Seam. The Capitol was 'kind' enough to provide each married couple with a monthly ration of threecondoms, which were sure to break more often than not. Most people would marry young and have children too early and too often if your job didn't kill you, then it would at least contribute to your down fall with crippling injuries or illnesses. If you didn't die in the mines then you would convalesce and watch your children suffer through the same struggles you had. Death would come too soon for most, the lucky died in their sleep, and the unlucky died trying to cough up the coal dust that coated their lungs. Your body would be unceremoniously tossed into the dead wagon by Peacekeepers, and buried in an unmarked grave. The newly emptied shanty would be filled with the newest married couple in line. A child would be born, fated to more than likely follow the same cycle.

Katniss hated it and wished to avoid it at all costs, she didn't want to give birth to a child who was predetermined to have a miserable life, therefore, she hated what the dress it was given to her she pleaded for it to be returned and the money used for food and other necessities. Her mother and Prim both refused and insisted that she keep it, it was her gift.

Prim had been sent on an errand, so Katniss and her mother were alone while she was taking a bath. They rarely spoke when they were alone, Prim was the glue that held them together. Katniss still could not forgive her mother for mentally abandoning them when her father died, and held her mother at arm's length.

Her mom was scrubbing her back when she broke the silence, "So, do you like your job?"

"It's fine, I don't like to clean house, but it's better than the mines." Katniss's tone was neutral.

"That Peeta seems like a nice boy." Her mother commented.

"Yes, he is," Katniss admitted lowly. Peeta Mellark was more than nice, he saved their lives. She wanted to tell her mother the story of when he helped them. It had happened when they were starving and her mother could not even pull herself from bed to care for her children, but she resisted. That sad period in their lives had never been spoken of openly, and Katniss did not want to speak of it at present.

"You know, your father was not my only suitor?" Her mom said with a bitter sweet smile.

"Really?" Katniss said out of politeness, with no clue as to why they were having this conversation. She had known that her mom had been a famous beauty in her youth. Katniss had never thought about it, but there must have been several young men seeking her affections. She was annoyed that her mom would even bring marriage up, especially when she was about to go to the toasting of young man that everyone in the Seam once thought would be her husband. She rolled her eyes and asked haughtily, "Are you going to tell me that you could have been the Mayor's wife?"

"No," her mother shook her head and ignored her daughter's snootiness. "I was nearly the baker's wife."

"What!" Katniss exclaimed and caught her mother's eye. "You and ?"

"Yes, Hank and I," her mother smiled at the shocked expression on her daughter's face. "We were never engaged or anything serious like that, we were close friends like Gale and you, we went everywhere together. I cared very much for him. I think that his feelings were much stronger, though. Everybody thought that we would marry, but then I fell in love with your father and we married. Hank wed Dawn Rhyes few weeks later."

"Bad luck for him," Katniss remarked. "Mrs. Mellark is a witch. She used to hit her kids. Peeta would sometimes come to school with bruises."

"She wasn't always like that she used to be a nice girl, although, she didn't have a very good home life." Her mother informed. "We were friendly in school. I was glad when I found out that she and Hank were married, I thought that he could make her happy. But, she could never forgive the unpleasant thingsthat happened to her or the people who did them, she never healed, and it made her an angry person. That's what happens when you can't let things go, it changes you, and it makes it impossible to find happiness."

Katniss held her tongue and fought the urge to scream. She was highly annoyed that her mom was using Mrs. Mellark as a teaching tool and in the process comparing Katniss to that horrible woman. "I think that you are the last person to be giving out advice on how to handle life's tragedies." Katniss said coldly.

"Perhaps I am," her mother said sadly, "but, I am still your mother, and I want to see you happy in life. Everybody deserves love in their lives. Avoiding it isn't going guarantee that you'll never be hurt, in fact it will make it worse."

Katniss was about to retort, but the sound of the door opening halted her. Prim came back into the house,they had an unspoken agreement to get along for Prim's sake. Both Katniss and her mother put on their best faces as Prim prattled on about how excited she was about going to the toasting and that Rory Hawthorne was going to escort her.

Half an hour later, after her mom and sister dressed her and fixed her hair, Katniss stood in front of the old, cracked mirror that hung on the wall. The young woman in the reflection was almost unrecognizable, _I'm pretty_ , she thought for a moment but then securitized every little flaw. She was too short, her eyes too big, her hair too dark,  _no there is nothing attractive here_. Katniss looked at the clock and noticed the time and panicked, she was going to be late. She left her house and walked as quickly as she could in her uncomfortable heels, to the bakery.

The stupid red, polka dot dress was way too reveling and it made her uncomfortable, especially when she realized that there was a very good possibility that Cray would be at the toasting. Although, when she go to the bakery Katniss was surprised by Peeta's reaction. It had put her at ease, yet made her more aware of the fact that she no longer was, nor looked like a child. Peeta treated her like a woman, actually it was more than that, he treated her like a lady. Suddenly, she didn't feel so awkward. Although, his comment about her always looking good in red confused her, she could not recall wearing anything else red in her life, but dismissed the thought.

Katniss let herself admire Peeta in his new suit, which seemed to exaggerate the width of his shoulders. She also appreciated how the crispness of his white shirt and the cobalt tie brought out the wonderful, brilliant blue of his eyes. Her stomach fluttered when she saw him, she felt a little out of sorts just being in his presence. This was something that she had been trying to avoid whenever she could, simply because of the way he made her feel. Peeta was with Ramona Barger and Katniss didn't want to allow herself the luxury of enjoying his company.  _He was not meant for the likes of me, and even if he did like me, nothing could ever happen. It wouldn't be fair to lead him on, because I'm never going to marry_.

When they left the bakery and headed to the new Hawthorne home, Katniss had to really concentrate on not dropping the cakes. She felt unsteady in the heels, and they were quite cheap making the likelihood of her falling on her ass incredibly high.

Katniss was surprised by Peeta's ability to charm everyone, Seam and Merchant classes, alike. Hewas kind and made just about everyone feel special: Prim, Posy, Hazelle, and the list went on and on. She had witnessed it several times during night, but what really stuck out to her was the way he was with Posy. Most Merchant guys wouldn't think to do anything sweet for a little girl from the Seam, like giving her a cookie, but people went even a step further than common platitudes and he even praised her dark hair. Peeta seemed to take true enjoyment in making others happy, an ideal that was totally strange to her. Prim was the only other person she knew like that, perhaps her father too, but she was finding it harder to recall the details of what he was like.

She found herself watching Peeta intently while he finished the cake, she marveled at how his large, powerful hands could do such intricate, delicate work. Later his hands brought about another type of awe in her when he held her hand as the group sang the wedding song to Madge and Gale, his presence calmed her.

Katniss could not help feeling overwhelmed when she saw Gale and Madge arrive from the Justice Building as a married couple. It's not that she wasn't happy for them, she knew that she didn't want Gale as a husband and that Madge was finally going to have someone to share her life with, but that didn't stop the her heart from feeling tight when she saw them kiss. The loneliness that was now her near constant companion was just about to break her when Peeta took her hand. Instantly she felt braver, stronger and better able to cope…For a brief moment she felt like she wasn't alone. Then it all came crashing down when she heard the shrill voice of Ramona and she was reminded that Peeta could not be her comforter, he belonged to someone else.

Katniss decided that she needed to leave his side so she wouldn't have to watch him with his girlfriend. She silently left the party and exited the house to get some air in the back yard. There were a few other people who had left stuffy house to seek the cooler evening air outside. Katniss walked further out into the yard trying to put as much distance between her and the happy people celebrating. A flurry of conflicting emotions swirled in her head.  _Why does seeing Peeta with Ramona bother me so much? Why do I care?_  She was so distracted that she'd not heard footsteps approaching her, the feeling of a clammy hand on her bare shoulder made her jump in surprise.

"Seeing you in that dress reaffirms the fact that I've made the right choice in picking you," Cray's gravelly voice said lowly in her ear. "Who knew that you were hiding such big tits in all of those baggy hunting shirts? I never would have guessed, but it's a pleasant discovery. I was thinking of having them augmented if they were too small."

The taste of bile, she now associated it with him, rose in her throat.  _He's so sure that I'd say 'yes' that he is already making plans for my 'improvement', the situation is more serious than I originally thought._ "This dress was not worn for you," Katniss informed him in a matter-of-factly. She had to walk a fine line, Katniss needed her disinterest in his offer to be known without incurring his wrath. "I'm wearing it for someone else."

Cray's stone face didn't convey any emotion, but she knew that he was annoyed when he tugged her forcefully by the elbow to the seclusion of a grouping of small trees a few yards away.

"You never said anything about any prior attachments!" Cray hissed.

She pulled her arm from his grasp and stepped away from him. "You never asked," Katniss said evenly the next phrase fell from her lips before she could stop herself. "Anyways we've had to keep it quiet. We don't want people to know about us."

A revolting grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, showing his yellow teeth. "So, who is  _she_? Have you told  _her_  about my proposal?"

Again, Katniss had to force down the urge to vomit, thinking of how wanted to share a woman with her. "I don't think that  _he_  would like to hear about your proposal, so I've not told him about it."

Cray looked her up and down and inquired angrily. "So who is the coal miner is who going knock you up, watch you starve, and leave you a widow before your brats are even grown."

Katniss panicked, and pleaded internally to the mythical deity of her ancestors for someone to save her. She had not thought that Cray would ask her mystery suitor's name and she was totally unprepared for it. Her keen ears heard heavy footfalls, and she turned to see Peeta approaching them. Cray looked at her in confusion and Katniss motioned her head in Peeta's direction as if to say 'that's him'.  _The "God" person must be real because my prayer was just answered._

"Oh, there you are Katniss!" Peeta called out pleasantly and then wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close. "I've been looking all over the place for you. The dancing is going to start soon and you promised to teach me that one dance, remember?"

Katniss just stared wide eyed at Peeta for a moment.  _How could he have known to come save me right now?_ She allowed herself relax in the warmth of his steady embrace and her arm snaked around his waist, not only for appearance sake but to keep herself from going weak in the knees. "I nearly forgot!" She said shakily, "Honey."

He squeezed her lightly and kissed the top of her head and looked at Cray as if he had just noticed him. "Head Peacekeeper Cray, how are you today? Nice day for a toasting isn't it?" Peeta happily said. "I hope that mine will be so nice someday." He punctuated his words with a not so stealthy wink at Katniss, who smiled in return and gave Cray a quick glance to gauge his reaction.

"Yes," Cray said curtly and looked irritated. "Are they serving cake yet?"

"Yes, they are." Peeta answered him.

"Well I'll be on my way," Cray told them and walked away. "Good evening."

Katniss stayed close to Peeta, commanding herself to stay composed until Cray disappeared into the house. As soon as he disappeared, she let out a breath, "What are you doing?!" Her voice was somewhere between disbelief and annoyance. While she was thankful that Peeta's presence chased off Cray, she was more upset to think that somehow Peeta knew of her plight, "Why did you do that?"

"Because I need you to do me a favor," Peeta said seriously. "Ramona, won't leave me alone."

"Isn't she your girlfriend?" Katniss asked confused and stepped away so she could face him and judge his honesty. _What in the hell? Peeta has no clue what he just saved me from and he wants me to help him?_

"No, I broke up with her months ago," Peeta informed her, sounding very sincere."She just forgets that sometimes. Maybe if you hang out with me tonight, she might get the point."

"You want to hang out with a scruffy Seam girl to scare off a Merchant girl?" Katniss asked sarcastically, thinking that all of this was too much of a coincidence to be the truth.

"No," Peeta corrected her. "I want to hang out with you. Please believe me when I say you are anything but scruffy. You're the best looking girl here tonight."

Katniss rolled her eyes, and tried not to look impressed with his charms.

"Come on," He pleaded. "Help me out. I'll owe you one…Please."

"You don't owe me anything," Katniss's tone was hushed, and almost apologetic. She hung her head and then said in a near whisper. "I already owe you so much, more than you'll ever know."  _The bread, the dandelions, and now protecting me from Cray- keeping him away from a shallow bitch is the least I can do._

Peeta lifted her chin so he could meet her gaze. They looked into each other's eye for a moment, suddenly Katniss wanted to lean forward and touch her lips to his, but she fought the urge and broke the momentary silence. "I'm starving, and that cake has been calling my name for days now. Then I'll teach you the Seam celebration dance, but I must warn you, I am a terrible dancer."

"That's okay," Peeta laughed. "I'm so bad that you'll look great in comparison."

Hand-in-hand they walked back into the house and Peeta shed his suit coat and tie before he got them each a slice of cake and a cup of ate her cake in silence, aside from commenting on how delicious the cake was. The punch had a particular taste to it, Katniss thought, but maybe that was the way it was meant to taste, it was the first time she ever drank it. Peeta visited with people he knew, but he never left her side. Katniss was stopped by Greasy Sae and they talked about the availability of dog meat this season. Peeta had her introduce Delly Cartwright to her friend Thom Hadley, almost immediately Thom asked Delly to dance with him.

The fiddler and the other musicians were starting to play and Madge and Gale were getting the dancing started. The spacious living room had been cleared of its furnishings to make way for the dancers. The faster dances started as they finished their third cups of punch. Katniss lead Peeta out to the dance floor and tried to show him the simple steps, the first dance was easy. He didn't lie, he was a terrible dancer, and had no sense of rhythm.

"Apparently, all of your talent settled in your hands and forgot your feet." She mused after he apologized for stepping on her toes the third time.

"Katniss Everdeen," Peeta laughed, "was that a joke?"

"Yes, sorry if it didn't come out right, I don't make them often." Katniss playfully said. For some strange reason, she was feeling far less inhibited than usual.

"No it was a good one," Peeta said convincingly, "you should try to tell more of them."

The music slowed down and a slow dance started, they found themselves in the middle of the dance floor, stuck in the middle of a sea of close couples snuggled together moving to the music. "Would you like to dance?" Peeta held out his hand."I don't see a clear path out of here, and we'd look silly just standing here."

"Alright."Katniss agreed and he took her hand in one of his and she rested the other on his shoulder, she felt Peeta's other hand on her waist. Neither one of them knew the steps, but it looked like half the dance floor seemed to have the same problem and didn't care. They moved in a slow circle, not speaking a word, yet the lack of conversation was comfortable. Katniss looked around the room most people were entwined with their partners. Some, like Madge and Gale, were closely knit and swayed in contented silence. Others, like Thom and Delly were pleasantly chatting. Katniss caught a glimpse of Prim and Rory holding each other close, she gave them a scowl and they blushed and quickly parted their bodies. The onlookers that lined the walls were in conversation with those around them, all except for one. Ramona Barger stood in the door way with her arms crossed, giving Katniss a scathing look, Katniss responded by bringing her body slightly closer to Peeta's and laid her head against his chest and smiled.  _If nothing else I get the privileged of pissing off that stuck-up, spoiled witch._

"Ramona is watching us," Katniss whispered and wrapped both arms around his waist.

"Oh, well that's disappointing," he sighed, "and here I thought that you were just getting to like me."

Katniss chuckled.

"There we go," Peeta said when he saw Katniss's contented expression. "If we look like we're having a good time it will upset her even more and if I'm really lucky she will get so mad that she'll never speak to me again."

"Peeta, why did you break it off with her?" Katniss's curiosity had finally gotten the best of her.

"Once I got to know her, I didn't like her as much as I had before." Peeta confessed, keeping his voice low so only Katniss could hear, a chill ran down her spine when his warm breath hit her ear. "Besides, my heart has belonged to someone else as long as I can remember. Although, I don't think that she even knew I existed until recently."

Katniss didn't know how to respond, she was jealous of the mystery girl and annoyed with her.  _How could someone not see how good and sweet Peeta is? That girl, whoever it is,has to be incredibly dense._

The song ended and the dancers applauded the musicians. Posy pushed her way through the crowd and took Peeta's hand. "Is it my turn now?" she excitedly asked. "Can I have him now Katniss? You've hogged him all night."

"Oh, Posy, don't be mad at Katniss," Peeta chimed in, gave Katniss a conspiratorial grin, and tickled the little girl who squirmed in delight. "I asked her to teach me dance so I'd be ready to dance with you."

"He's all yours now Posy, but watch your toes." Katniss teased her little friend and waved to Peeta before turning to leave the dance floor. She was feeling parched so she made her way to the punch bowl.

A hand extended in front of her, she turned and looked up to its owner, it was Gale. "I wouldn't drink the punch unless you're on a mission to get drunk, old Abernathy has been doctoring the punch all night."

"Well that explains why it tasted funny." Katniss observed.

"Are you having a good time?" Gale inquired.

"Yes, I am," She said honestly, other than the brief Cray incident, she'd enjoyed herself more tonight than she had in a long time. "Congratulations, for everything, Madge, the house, the job, and the marriage. I'm truly happy for you guys."

"Thanks you, Katniss. Hey, I know we don't do this, but it's my wedding day and everybody gets one." Gale opened his arms wide and embraced his former hunting partner. Katniss was shocked by the action for a moment, but recovered quicklyand returned the hug. After a moment they let go and stood there looking at each other.

"So, I see you came with Mellark," Gale said and they both looked out to the dance floor were they could see the large blonde man dancing with the small dark haired girl. "I think Posy is in love."

"Well, if she has to fall in love with a merchant at least she has enough sense, like her brother, to fall for a good one." Katniss said sincerely.

"Yeah, too bad he is way too old for her." Gale joked. "He's just right for you though. You looked really friendly together on the dance floor."

"I'm doing him a favor," Katniss replied and gave Gale a scowl, which made him smile knowingly. "Maybe if I was the marrying type he might, but what a said two years ago still stands."

"If that is the case then I hope that goes for everyone," Gale whispered and turned his head to the far corner of the room where Cray was speaking to the mayor.

"What do you know?" Katniss's eyes went wide and her stomach dropped at the mention of the greasy Head Peacekeeper.

"I work in the government office now and I hear things. Don't worry it's not common knowledge, yet." Gale admitted and then took her by the hand and caught her eye. "If you need help, don't be too proud to ask for it."

"I don't need help, to get rid of Cray," Katniss retorted. "He isn't the first man I've turned down, as you know."

"Yeah, I know, but he is different." Gale told her earnestly. "There are people who care about you and will help you if you just let them. Please don't forget that."

Posy came running at her brother and launched herself into his arms. "Did you see me Gale?"

"Yes, I did." Gale laughed and gave his sister a hug before setting her down. "Why don't you go find Madge for me, please?"

"Okay," Posy said and ran off to find her new sister.

Peeta approached them and he and Gale spoke for a while, but Katniss could not follow the conversation, she was distracted by her own thoughts. Soon Madge joined the little group and Katniss was able to at least carry on a conversation with her. When guests were starting to filter out Gale and Madge excused themselves to wish them all farewell. Katniss started to look for her sister so they could go home.

"Have you seen Prim?" She asked Peeta.

"She and Rory leave a little bit ago." Peeta said nonchalantly as he gathered up his coat and tie. "She asked if I could walk you home and I said I would."

Katniss was irritated that she was not consulted in all of this, although she tried to sound casual when she told Peeta. "You really don't have to, I'll be fine."

"Yes I do, besides its dark out and my dad would never forgive me if I didn't walk you home," Peeta gave her a grin and offered her his arm. They exited the house and started to walk down the darkened pathway when a voice called out.

"Peetie," Ramona's voice squeaked from behind them. "Can I talk to you for a moment… alone?"

"Come save me in two minutes," Peeta pleaded in a whisper.

Katniss nodded and said, "Okay, I will."

Peeta walked towards Ramona, leaving Katniss to stand alone under the full moon light. She could hear them talking, but she could not make out what was being said. In an attempt to mind her own business she instead turned her attention to the yard. Looking into the night, Katniss could hear the murmurs of young couples stealing kisses behind trees giggling, apparently not everyone had realized the punch was spike, or at least they didn't care. The sight of floating embers and the scent of a cigarette caught her attention; there were very few people in the district who could afford such a luxury. Her sharp eyes could see the outline of a paunchy man leaning against the white picket fence, it was Cray, and he seemed to be waiting for something or at least someone, her.

Before she knew what she was doing she marched up to Peeta. Maybe the white liquor punch had affected her more than she had thought, or maybe she was more desperate to get rid of Cray's advances than she could admit. But, presently she saw her opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, she might be able to solve both her and Peeta's problems all at were a few other party goers still hanging around but she would just have to go with her gut and follow through with her rash plan.  _There are couples making out like crazy around here, one more kissing pair wouldn't cause a fuss._

"Peeta," she called sweetly and threw her arms around his neck when he was within reach, he wrapped his arms around her, and she stood on her tip toes and said in a barely audible whisper, "trust me," and pressed her lips to his. He reciprocated immediately, which surprised her, she had not expected him to be an enthusiastic accomplice, she had just hoped that he wouldn't push her away. His lips tasted as sweet as the strawberries that filled the cake, they were warm and moved with purpose. Peeta definitely knew what he was doing, if she enjoyed kisses with Gale then she loved whatever was happening to her now. The kiss was not deep or pushy, but passionate and meaningful. Katniss had never had a kiss like this before, and finally understood what girls meant when they said they would go weak in the knees when they were kissed. When he pulled away, she stared at him blinking.

"Yes, dear?" Peeta asked after breaking the kiss, calling her back from the stupor cause by the unexpected effects of the kiss.

"I, um," she hesitated and then she glanced the forgotten third person standing with them. Ramona had a horror stricken look on her face. Katniss was reminded of her original intention. "I wanted to get you home… You get up early in the morning."

"I suppose you're right," he sighed, released Katniss, and turned to face the still shocked girl standing with them. "Goodnight, Ramona."

Peeta again offered her his arm and they walked past Cray, Peeta gave him his most winning smile and said, "Lovely night, isn't it Mr. Cray," then kissed Katniss on the cheek. When they were well out of ear shot Peeta stopped them and said in an awed tone. "That was incredible…"

Katniss gave him a strange look, not being sure of what he was praising the kiss or the acting.  _Did he feel it too? What have I done? We were playing a game, right?_

He smiled and then he said playfully, "I thought Ramona was going to faint right there."

Katniss relaxed and laughed a little, "Yeah, I'll doubt she'll be bothering you again." A disturbing thought crossed her mind. "Peeta, what will your mom do if she hears about what we did tonight?"

"My mom hated Ramona, she thinks she's trampy." Peeta stated matter-of-factly and paused to think for a moment, "What is there to hear? We're friends who went to a party together, danced and then played a part to discourage unwanted attention, there is nothing wrong with that."

"Friends do that?" Katniss speculated into the night air.

"Well we do," he said coolly, "and we're friends aren't we?"

"We are now, I guess." Katniss replied and tried to think of reasons of why she should be upset, many of them valid.  _His mom is going to flip and force Hank to fire me. What if I pissed Cray off and he retaliates on Peeta? What will my mom and Prim say if they hear I kissed Peeta? What if everybody finds out about Cray's proposal?_

Katniss knew in the morning that she would more than likely regret everything, especially the kiss, and she should be panicking. Yet, she could not, she was with Peeta and for some reason as long as he was with her, she felt better and she had a little hope for tomorrow.  _Yes, Peeta Mellark, you are my friend,_ she thought.  _He is in love with that mystery girl and I have no interest in romance, I can safely be his friend,_  she convinced herself. Katniss rested her head on Peeta's shoulder, totally at peace in the moment, as they walked toward her home in the Seam.


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank my wonderful betas, kismet4891, who has been with me on this from day one, and Court81981 who has been my personal cheerleader for a while now. THANKS LADIES!

 

banner by Ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 5**

**Peeta**

Peeta was floating on air Saturday morning—he could not believe his luck. _I kissed Katniss last night!_ And it was not just any kiss— it was the best kiss of his life. In the last five years, Peeta had kissed a total of six girls, ranging from timid pecks to full on make out sessions with the inclusion of heavy ‘over the clothes’ petting. None of those embraces held a candle to what he experienced with Katniss. Not to mention that it happened right in front of Ramona and Cray.  Maybe all their problems were solved. Yet a part of him relished the idea of carrying on the charade for a while, and secretly he hoped that after a while it would no longer be an act but the real thing. _After all, that kiss didn’t seem too forced at all._

Peeta was alone again this morning. His brother, Graham, was over an hour late; this had been a regular occurrence lately. Not that it really bothered Peeta; he knew that his brother was overwhelmed at home. A toddler and a pregnant wife on bed rest were a lot for any twenty-two year to deal with.

Finally, he heard the back door open about the same time that the sun came up, and his brother walked in. “Sorry Peet, Bucky woke up in the middle of the night and I feel asleep in the rocker with him. Gemma slept through the alarm and…”

Peeta cut in, “No worries, I know that you’re not slacking off. How are Gemma and Bucky?” Bucky was the nickname for Graham’s son, Wheaton, who had somehow got called Buckwheat at birth and the name stuck and got shortened to ‘Bucky’.

Graham sighed heavily. “Gemma looks terrible.  She hasn’t been able to keep anything down in days, and the damn apothecary hasn’t been much help…Bucky is teething and has been grumpy. Dad’s sending Katniss to my house later to watch the kid and to help pick up.”

“Have you thought of maybe asking Mrs. Everdeen to see Gemma? Dad is much better since he started taking the medicine that she gave him.”

“I was going to ask Katniss to send her mom over later. I’m starting to get scared Peeta; she was supposed to be over being sick weeks ago,” Graham admitted, the worry etched on his face as he began to work.

“I’m sure she’ll be all right,” Peeta consoled as best he could. He really had no idea if it would be allright or not, but it just seemed like the right thing to say.

Graham nodded and changed the subject. “So how was the toasting last night? Did the mayor seem happy with the cake?”

“It went well. I was told by several people that it was best looking and tasting cake that they’ve ever seen.” Peeta couldn’t help but to smirk thinking about the previous night’s events.

“What is that shit-eating grin all about?”his brother teased. “Did Dad’s _not-so-subtle plan_ to set you up with Katniss actually work?”

“Yes and no,” Peeta said evenly.

“What in the hell does that mean?”

“She…uh, kinda kissed me last night, right in front of Ramona,” Peeta put it into plain words as his brother gave him a dumbfounded look. “But it was all for show. I asked her to stay with me most of the night so that Ramona wouldn’t bother me.”

“Probably wouldn’t be too bad for Katniss either if the rumors are true,” Graham said lowly.

“What have you heard?” Peeta asked in a near whisper, knowing what the answer would be. He had hoped that Cray’s desires were not yet public knowledge.

“Rhyes dropped by last night.  You know since he works in accounting he deals with the government office a lot.  He said that the word is Cray is looking for a wife and that Katniss is his top choice. I don’t know her very well, but I don’t see Katniss agreeing to marry him. I don’t care how hard your life is, I don’t see any self-respecting woman wanting to be with him full time; there’s not enough coins in the district for that…but judging by the look on your face, you knew all this already.”

Peeta nodded in reply.

Graham sighed. “It’s not that I don’t like Katniss but…you’ve got to think about yourself, too. You know that Mom will go nuts when she hears about all this, right?”

“I know, but what is she going to do?” Peeta challenged, “Love me any less? Threaten to disown me? We both know that I don’t have much to lose; the bakery won’t be able to support two growing families if I ever get married. What does my future hold?”

“You know that if I had any other options I would let you have the bakery,” his brother told him sincerely. “I have no great love for baking, but I have nothing else to fall back on. There’s still a chance that Gemma might inherit her uncle’s tool making business. But I promise you Peeta, I will do everything in my power to be able to keep you here.”

“I know,” Peeta confirmed. He did know that his brother would gladly give up the bakery if he had a choice, but there wasn’t one. Graham had a family to take care of and as the oldest, he had the right to the living that the bakery had to offer.

The brothers each focused on their jobs and worked quietly for the rest of the morning. Peeta worked the storefront when they opened for business. He noticed that some of the customers were staring at him oddly, and a couple of them were bold enough to ask if he had a good time at the toasting. He just answered politely and served them with his typical, friendly smile. Peeta knew that relationships between Merchant and Seam weren’t totally unheard of, but they always stirred up gossip.

The mayor himself came into the bakery to settle the bill. He overpaid by a large amount—over two hundred coins. When Peeta tried to return it, the mayor smiled and said, “Oh, no that’s your tip, that was the most extraordinary cake that I’ve ever seen.  It looked just as good and tasted even better than the stuff they send from the Capitol for the Victory tour. Those desserts are always pretty, but taste like crap. I think that when that little girl from District 11 comes here this winter I’ll see if I can get Miss Trinket to arrange to allow you to make the desserts; it would cost them far less but it still would pay better than most anything here in the district.”

He gave the mayor sincere thanks, and as soon as he left Peeta counted and recounted the coins in disbelief. He gave Graham a hundred coins; things had been especially tight for his brother since Gemma had not been able to work. His brother took it begrudgingly with a promise to pay him back as soon as he could.

Saturdays were blissfully short work days; they closed earlier than the rest of the week and the bakery was closed on Sundays so there was no prep work to be done. Peeta was done by three; it was the first time in weeks that he was done working while the sun shined. It was now July, and the days were getting hot.

On his walk home, Peeta tallied up in his head his current savings total. With what the mayor gave him today he had put back nearly fifteen hundred coins. That was a respectable amount. He had saved nearly every coin that he’d ever received for his birthdays, work, selling pictures, and any random chore done for a neighbor. It was more than enough to start a household or to even start a new business or buy into an existing one. He’d been trying to think of a way to get into business for years now. He’d considered trades like house painting or landscaping, but such trades were in sparse demand in District 12 and were typically taken care of by one of the handful of handymen that serviced the whole of the district.

Peeta had been so involved in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the eerie silence in his house.  He walked into the kitchen to drop off the day-old bread that he’d brought home from work, and he was not prepared for the sight before him. His dad and mother sat at the kitchen table. His father had a pained look on his face, and his mother was visibly upset. The corners of her mouth pulled down into a thin lipped frown and Peeta could see the rage in her pale blue eyes. His mother had a commanding presence.  She was large for a woman; she stood about a head taller than most and was broad shouldered. She would have been a very pretty woman if it had not been for the near constant look of disgust on her face.

Peeta’s heart was in his throat and he had a sick feeling in his stomach; this was not good. When his mother raged and screamed, she would eventually get it out of her system.  The person closest to her might get slapped or shaken, but nothing that might result in more than a bruise, a fat lip, or hurt pride- similar to what happened when Peeta purposely burnt the bread to throw to Katniss.

When she was totally quiet, however, that when she was at her most dangerous. He’d seen this a few times before, the worst incident being when Rhyes was about twelve and he dropped a marble rolling pin that was as old as Panem itself; it shattered when it hit the ground. His mother had already been in a bad mood. They had been sent weevil-infested flour that month and asking for a refund from the government was not an option so they were unable to meet their orders for the month and there would be no profit. His mother worried constantly over money and her worst fear, being short, had come true.

Mrs. Mellark had stalked up to horror stricken Rhyes, who was already apologizing and sobbing when she grabbed him by the collar and said in a haunting voice, “Do you know what you have done you worthless little shit!” Then she wrapped her hands around Rhyes’s throat, and Peeta immediately ran to get his father. When he and his father made it back into the kitchen, they saw that fifteen-year-old Graham had yanked her off of Rhyes and held her down while she flailed and cursed and Rhyes gasped for air. It was the one and only time that his father threatened to divorce their mother. Rhyes had to stay home from school for a few days so that no one could see his bruises. It was one of Peeta’s least favorite memories.

Peeta now watched wearily as his mother stood and approached him with same menacing look that he remembered her having that day.

“Hi Mom,” he tried to say calmly. “How are y…” He was cut off by a slap to his left cheek. It didn’t hurt near as much as he remembered; maybe she was weaker or Peeta had gotten tougher. She drew back and got ready to slap him again.

“Dawn, no!” Peeta heard his father shout.

Before she could connect again Peeta caught her hand then threw it away from him, “Nice to see you too, Mother…tell me to what do I owe this honor?”

His mother gaped at him in shock; no had ever dared to talk to her in such a way. She pointed her finger at him and growled, “How dare you! How dare you shame this family with your antics! Couldn’t you just fuck that Seam girl behind the slag heap like other Merchant boys? I’ve worked so hard to make this family into something, and look at what you’ve done!”

“Why don’t we all sit down?” his father suggested and gently steered his wife to one of the chairs. Once they all took a seat his father explained, “Your mother heard about what happened at the toasting last night. Is it true that you kissed Katniss Everdeen?”

“Yes, it’s true.” Peeta paused for a moment. “But it is not what you think. I was protecting her.”

“What could that girl need _you_ to protect her from?” his mother spat.

“I’m protecting her from Cray,” Peeta said plainly. His mother’s face drained of color when Cray’s name was mentioned, just as it always did; he never understood why.

He had tried to think of some well-spun story to tell his mother, but he decided that for once the truth would be best. “It seems that Cray will be in the market for a wife when he retires and he wants one that’s not only pretty, but genetically superior. Apparently Katniss is all of those things; he wants her to be his wife. She’s not interested, so I’m helping her by pretending to be her boyfriend.”

Peeta’s mother was surprisingly silent; he had expected her to be in the middle of one her infamous temper tantrums by now. Her face was still ashen; her body shook and looked as if she would be sick.

“Peeta, could you please leave your mother and me alone?” his father asked him.  He nodded and left the kitchen; there were no doors on the first floor so Peeta climbed the stairs to allow them some sense of privacy.

But there was no privacy in the Mellark home; the walls were paper-thin and the sounds from down stairs carried up from the second floor through the vents. Peeta hated eavesdropping, but his curiosity was beyond piqued. He thought he’d be thrown from the house by this point. _Why is Mom acting so strangely?_

Peeta tiptoed to the upstairs hallway vent that was directly over the kitchen and sat and listened to the conversation.

“You thought that you could sneak that woman and her family in our lives while I wasn’t looking, didn’t you!” his mother accused.

“It has not been _our lives_ for a long time now, Dawn, and do not call her ‘that woman’,” his father replied in an even tone. “I had no choice, the house was going to hell, we’re shorthanded at bakery between Gemma being on bed rest, and me not having been able to work a full day in months… _Thanks for asking how I am, by the way_. I could hire Katniss a whole hell of a lot cheaper then I could a Merchant girl.” Peeta knew that the last part was a lie. His father continued, “Look around Dawn, the house hasn’t looked this good in years. She’s a trustworthy girl; just look at what she’s done to keep her family fed, if anyone can appreciate the lengths that girl has gone to help her family it would be you. You know as well as I do that Lily Everdeen gives her services away more often than not. She never charged you a dime and she took care of you for weeks.”

“You’re going to bring that up, Hank?!” Mrs. Mellark’s voice quivered.

“Yes, I am,” he challenged. Peeta was astonished to hear his dad speak to his wife in such an authoritative tone. “I’ve not brought it up in twenty-three years: not when you and all of Lily’s old _friends_ laughed over her husband’s death, not when you called her children Seam rats, or any other time when I should have. But I _will_ bring it up now, you can finally repay an old debt…not to mention the fact that you finally get even with the person you hate by denying him what he wants most. Keeping Lily Everdeen’s daughter away from that piece of shit Cray is the least you could do for her considering that she saved your life and never told anyone your secret.”

Peeta could feel the tension radiating from the room below him. This whole situation was bizarre; his father had said more words in the last five minutes than he had in the entirety of the last two weeks. Plus, he had no idea what his parents were talking about. _What happened twenty-three years ago? Well other then the fact that’s when they got married and when Mrs. Everdeen left town for the Seam. What secret would Mom have to hide?_

His mother cleared her throat, “I’ll allow this to happen, but this had better just be a hoax and when Cray leaves the district I want that dirty miner’s daughter out of my house and bakery. My debt will be paid and I never want _anybody_ in my family to fraternize with the Everdeens again, ever, aside from trading.”

“I can agree to that if that really makes you feel better,” his father said solemnly, “but I can’t speak for anyone else. Our sons are grown now and can make their own decisions.”

“That boy is so stupid,” she grumbled. “He needs to be pursuing some girl with a family trade that he could take over…not fooling around with a pregnancy trap. That’s why all those Seam girls are always after Merchant boys.”

“Katniss is not like that,” his father affirmed. “We would be lucky to have a girl like her in our family.”

Peeta could hear his mother huff in frustration as her chair scraped the tile floor. He quickly stepped into his room.

“Peeta!” she hollered up the stairs.

He walked out to the landing and looked at his mother who was standing at the foot of the stairs. “Yes, Mother?”

She gave him an icy look, and told him in a steady voice, “Make sure that Everdeen girl is here for Sunday dinner, Aunt Vesta wants to meet her. She was best friends with her grandmother. That girl had better be dressed nicely, have clean hands, and be on her best behavior. Also, see if she can catch a goose or a pair of ducks for dinner.  It will be far cheaper than meat from the butcher.”

Peeta’s jaw dropped and he gave his mother a blank stare. _I couldn’t have heard her right!_

“Do you understand that Peeta?” she demanded.

“Yes, ma’am,” he acknowledged.

“As soon as Cray is gone, so is she,” Mrs. Mellark said warningly. “You can’t afford a girl with no trade; you ought to be pursuing a girl with a future, or else you’ll end up in the mines. As a third son you can’t afford to not marry well.” It was about the most motherly thing that she’d ever said to him—there was a hint of concern to her voice. Yet what came out of her mouth next negated all of what she had just said. “Don’t be stupid and keep your dick in your pants! I’ll be here with Aunt Vesta at one o’clock. Make sure your brothers know too.”

Peeta nodded dumbly and his mother left with a slam of a door. He leaned against the railing and tried to analyze what had just happened; he was fully expecting to be packing a bag or fending off a rolling pin attack. He definitely had not expected being tasked with inviting Katniss to his family dinner. _What in the hell am I going to tell Katniss?_

His dad called from the kitchen, “Peeta could you come here please?” He did as he was asked. “Could you make us some tea please?”

Peeta started the kettle and prepared the cups his father asked, “How much did you hear?”

“All of it.”

“I’m sure you have some questions,” his father stated.

“I do…like, why would Mom owe Mrs. Everdeen?” Peeta commented and the tea kettle whistled, “But I’m certain that I won’t get the answers, anyhow.”

“Well, I’ll surprise you then,” his father stated when his mint tea was placed before him. Peeta sat across from him at the small kitchen table. His father sighed heavily and looked him straight in the eye, “Now, I’m going to tell you a story. You are never to relate this to your brothers or to anyone else…I’m telling you this as much to explain why your mother was willing to go along with this, and also to serve as a cautionary tale for you.”

“Alright, I’m listening,” Peeta told him.

“You know how your mother’s family used to be wealthy, right?”

“Yeah, they all used to be rich then they blew it all. Grandfather caused a lot of casualties in the mines and he lost his overseer position,” Peeta confirmed. His mother often bragged of her family’s former grandeur, but what she never spoke of was their downfall. What Peeta knew of it was from what other people had told him. His maternal grandparents, the Tollsons, were once among the most respectedand wealthiest in the district. His grandfather Tollson ran the mines, and he got the job from his father. But he was not suited for it; he was arrogant and irresponsible. He let things in the mines fall apart and there were a series of accidents; the worst one killed dozens of miners. The family fell from grace,and his grandfather then wasted what was left of their wealth on gambling and drinking. The family was destitute by the time his mother was grown.

“Your grandfather was the most worthless son-of-a-bitch that ever lived!” his father said with surprising venom. “After that last mining accident, the one that killed 47 miners and wounded many others, he was finally fired. Because of the pull that his family had, he was not prosecuted, even though he should have been executed. Everyone would have been better off if he had been.”

His father took a deep breath and stared at his cup. “Your grandmother was at least able to keep up appearances for a few years, but then she died when your mother was seventeen. Your grandfather was totally broke within months. He was infamous for gambling, mostly with Peacekeepers. He got into deep debt with one in particular,” his father stopped and looked him straight in the eye for a moment and said in a dark tone, “it was Cray and there was only one thing of value left that Cray was interested in….your mother.”

Peeta nearly dropped his cup. _He can’t be telling me what I think he is! My mother was used as payment…_

“I think that you know enough about Cray that I don’t have to get into details,” his father said slowly. “Your mother was forced to do some terrible things in order to pay off her father’s debts. Eventually she became pregnant. She thought that she could blackmail Cray into paying her off or at least into leaving her alone, but instead his beat her nearly to death.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Peeta whispered, feeling a little queasy.

“Like I said there are things that you need to understand so you don’t make the same mistakes I did,” Hank replied. “It was a few weeks after Lily left town for the Seam when I was walking to the bakery one morning. I stumbled over something in the alley; it was your mother. But she didn’t look like a person, she looked more like a slab of beef. I picked her up and was going to take her to the apothecary’s. But she begged me not to; she couldn’t stand the thought of everyone knowing about her condition or shame.  So instead I carried her to the Seam, and to the Everdeen home. Lily worked on her for hours. The baby was already dead; I’m not exactly sure how far along it was but it was old enough know that it was a girl. Your mother had some really terrible injuries, several broken bones and cuts. Lily Everdeen saved her life.”

“Let me make clear that I have never thought any less of your mother because of her father or because of the things she was forced to do,” Mr. Mellark stressed. “When she was better she had nowhere to go, her father had finally drank himself to death, and she was too proud to tell her aunt what had happened. I felt sorry for her, she was a pretty girl who once was happy, we had been friendly in school and I couldn’t leave her to be on her own. I asked her to marry me, she accepted and we were wed and Graham was conceived almost immediately.”

“What does this have to do with me, Dad?” Peeta posed.

“I know how you feel about Katniss,” his father told him kindly. “I don’t want you to think that if you save her that you are responsible for her forever afterwards. If she returns your feelings then that is one thing… Peeta, I just don’t want you to live through what I did. I thought that because of how your mother and I started that she would just be happy to be out of that situation and that we could live contentedly, but I was wrong. Sometimes we were happy, and I will always be grateful to her for you boys, but we could never escape her past; she got increasingly bitter and paranoid.  I know it doesn’t seem like it, but she does love you boys, she can’t show it though. I think that after that first baby, even after all this time, she still can’t let herself get attached.”

Peeta sat on the chair trying to sort through his feelings. The weight of the world was now on his shoulders; it was too much to take in at once. The thought his mother being used to settle gambling debt, how she nearly died after Cray beat her, then to have his father compare his protection of Katniss to his experience with his mother was strange.

“I know that protecting Katniss will not insure that I’ll be with her someday,” Peeta sincerely said. “But I can’t stand the thought of Cray forcing her into something she doesn’t want. I don’t care if I get nothing in return; I just want her to be safe and happy.”

“That’s the right attitude to have,” his dad said in approval. They sat quietly for a while and drained their now cool cups. “So, does Katniss know what you’re doing?”

Peeta told his father the whole of the story, from Hawthorne’s suspicions to the previous night and about how uneasy Katniss had been when corned by Cray and how he had pretended that he needed Katniss to help him.

“She ought to know the truth.  She’s smart enough to know that she should play along,” Hank declared. “You need to let her in on this; she needs to know what danger she’s in, if she doesn’t already.”

Peeta agreed, his conviction in keeping her safe was even stronger now, “I’m going to see her in a little while, I have to tell her about tomorrow and ask her about hunting something for lunch.”

Hank smiled for the first time all day and said, “You’d better get going. It may take a while to explain everything and to warn her about Vesta and your mother.”

Peeta chuckled and prepared an offering of stale cookies and the cheese buns that he remembered Katniss saying that she liked so much. He then changed into a fresh set of clothes and made his way to the Seam, wondering the whole time how to explain this mess to Katniss without sounding like a creep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know all this waiting and no K&P interaction but that will come in the next chapter. This fic is a bit darker than any other I written so far. (Don’t worry, I’ll still included some humor and sweet moments, I can’t do pure angst.)
> 
> That being said, I am really curious about how you feel about this chapter and the back story that was revealed, so please let me know with a comment.


	6. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment on this story, I was nervous bringing it back after such a long absence.
> 
> Thank you to my lovely and talented betas kismet4891 and Court81981. Without these wonderful ladies nothing that I write be coherent.

 

Banner by Ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 6**

Katniss was exhausted by the time she got back home from Graham and Gemma’s house. She chased their toddling little boy while she folded clothes, picked up the house, and did the dishes. The littlest Mellark was a precious child, with his mop of golden hair and dimpled cheeks. She was not generally crazy about small children, but Bucky had endeared himself to Katniss. She found herself enjoying playing _Peek-a-Boo_ with him and played with his soft curls when he crawled into her lap. A baby like him could make just anybody want to have a child. Yet she could not allow herself to think such thoughts, so instead she reminded herself of all the sickly, dying babies and small children that she’d seen go through her kitchen in years past. Poor nutrition alone wouldn’t kill a child, but the secondary illnesses such as pneumonia, chickenpox, and even the common flu were deadly. The memory of babies too sick to even cry was enough to reaffirm her conviction to never have a child of her own.

 _If I never marry then having a child will not be a concern. Who would want to marry me anyways?_ Katniss used to be able to convince herself that no one would want her, although she now knew otherwise. There were men willing to marry her—or at the very least that wanted to have sex with her. Once upon a time there had been Gale, who wanted to make a life with her, and some boys at school who’d asked her to go to the slag heap. Lately there had been miners at the Hob who had asked to court her.  And then there was Cray.

 _Why is he so set on me? Surely there is one of his regular women who would be willing to be with him all of the time in order feed their addictions or to have a comfortable home._ Katniss’s stomach churned at the thought of Cray, and she hoped that last night’s act would be enough to put him off for good.But there was something about the way he looked at her last night as Peeta walked her home. _He doesn’t believe that Peeta and I are truly a couple._

She had gotten very little sleep after the toasting, although it had very little to do with Cray. As unsettled as she was about him, there was something else that had thrown her for a loop—her kiss with Peeta. She replayed it time and again: the way his lips fit perfectly against hers, the way it made her weak in the knees, andshe tried to analyze what it meant. Sometimes she nearly had herself convinced that Peeta was merely a good actor, but there was something about it that she couldn’t put her finger on. All the times that Gale kissed her she never felt the sort of thrill with him that she had with Peeta. She silently cursed her naivety and not being able to tell the difference between a real kiss versus a staged one,and for once she wished that she knew more about such matters. They hadwalked arm-in-arm the entire way back to the Seam, but when he dropped her off at her door he had been nothing more than friendly as they laughed again about the look on Ramona’s face.

It was hot outside; in the Seam, the air was stifling, and there was no power today to run the fans that made the heat almost bearable. Katniss hated this time of year and planned to escape to the cool shade of the forest as soon as she could.

When Katniss walked through the door, she called for her mother.

“Yes, Katniss?” she replied.

“Graham Mellark asked if you could come over and check on his wife,” she informed her.

“Is she bleeding or not feeling well?” Mrs. Everdeen inquired.

“Sick, she’s still throwing up, and she hasn’t been able to hold much down. She looks awfully pale and tired.”

“This heat isn’t helping, I’m sure. At least they usually keep the power going in town so she has a fan. I’ll go when Prim gets back; it would be good case for her to learn on.  She’s trading with the grocer right now.  As hot as it is, she has to trade the cheese the moment she makes it.”

Katniss nodded and went to the kitchen sink to splash some cool water on her face. Her mother gave her a smirk, “I heard that the toasting went well.”

She froze and tried to think of something to say to explain what her mother might have heard. “Madge and Gale looked happy, the cake was pretty, and Abernathy spiked the punch. I suppose that made the evening more enjoyable for mostly everyone.”

“I heard that you and Peeta enjoyed the evening more than most,” her mother said evenly with a cheeky grin. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You could do far worse; he is such a nice boy.”

“Mom, it’s nothing,” she said dismissively. “It was a onetime thing…it won’t happen again.”

“That would be a shame,” Mrs. Everdeen remarked. “He is handsome, and it would be lovely to have a man in our lives again.”

“Well, you’ll have to wait for Prim to find one because I’m never going to get married,” she told her mother curtly.

“Oh, Katniss not this again.” Her mother sighed and laid her hand on Katniss’s back. “Your father wouldn’t have wanted you to be so bitter.”

She shrugged off her mother’s hand and could feel seven years worth of resentment bubbling up to the surface and tried to push it down again. Recently her mom started to talk about her husband, though it was only to tell her what he would have wanted her to do or be. Katniss wasn’t going to have this conversation today; it was too hot, and she did not feel like arguing her stance on marriage, feelings, and children with the woman who all but abandoned her own.

“I have to hunt.” Katniss excused herself to change her clothes. While she changed in her and Prim’s loft, there was a knock at the door and a few moments later her mother called for her to come downstairs because she had a visitor. For a moment she feared that it might be Cray, but when she came down the narrow stairway she was surprised to see that it was Peeta who was chatting with her mother and handing her a bag. A happy smiled appeared on her face before she could stop it; she chastised herself and adopted her usual neutral expression.

He smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and she could tell in an instant that something was amiss. “Hi, Katniss, how are you today?”

“Fine,” she said cautiously as she pondered why he was there and looked upset. She instantly thought that he was there to tell her that his mother had gotten wind of the previous night’s events and that she would no longer be able to work for his family. “How about you?”

“Well thank you,” he returned pleasantly. “I…I brought you some leftovers and I was sent to ask you to go hunting for tomorrow’s dinner.  My mom would like a goose or some ducks, enough to feed nine people. Your mom said that you’re getting ready to head out. I could walk you if you like.”

It was plain to her that he wanted to tell her something important and that he didn’t want anyone to overhear. “Uhh, alright,” she said cautiously. “Mom, I might be late.”

“Okay, dear,” Mrs. Everdeen acknowledged.

Peeta opened the door for her and asked, “So where to?”

“I have a special order for a goose, so the woods.”

“Could I come with you to the fence?” he posed. “There is something that I have to talk to you about.”

She had a feeling of foreboding as they made their way to the meadow. As soon as they reached the grassy clearing and Katniss was sure that no one was around to hear their conversation, she pulled him into the shade of a nearby tree. She couldn’t stand the tension any longer and so she asked, “So what’s wrong Peeta? Did your mother find out about last night?”

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“Did she hit you?”

“Yeah, but it didn’t hurt,” he said passively. Katniss stepped close to examine his face, and he then gave her the smallest of grins. “She must be losing her touch cause she didn’t leave any marks.”

“I hate that you got hit because of me, again,” she sighed. He gave her confused look. She quickly realized her error and dismissed his unasked question, clearing her throat Katniss asked, “Were you sent here to fire me?”

“No,” he proclaimed, “I was instructed to invite you to Sunday dinner.”

It took her a few moments for what he’d said to sink in. _This can’t be right!_ “Your mother wants _me_ to come to dinner?”

“Actually, my great aunt wants you there. She and your grandmother were friends, or so I was told.” Peeta explained with a cocked eyebrow, “Vesta is a little senile and could be mistaken; they could have actually hated each and she has just forgotten about it.”

Katniss let out a shaky, albeit genuine laugh.  His joke assured her that the situation was not dire as she had feared. “So under what pretenses I am to come to dinner, as the maid?”

“No,” he replied and again became serious, “You’re supposed to be there as my girlfriend.”

“What? Why?” she gaped.

“Because I’m sure that everyone in the district has heard about what happened last night and if we look like we’re in a relationship, everything will be far less scandalous and your reputation won’t be harmed.”

“Why do you care about my reputation?” she asked sharply.

“Because I’m your friend,” he reminded her without missing a beat. “I thought that we agreed on that last night.”

She instantly felt bad for her ungrateful behavior. For some reason Peeta’s friendship, although it was so new, meant more to her than she could explain. Maybe because she missed the way her friendships with Madge and Gale used to be so it made her appreciative of having a new friend in Peeta.  She sincerely apologized, “I guess we did. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he insisted somberly. “Because there is something else that we have to talk about. Katniss, we both know what we did last night wasn’t only about putting off Ramona.”

 _He knows about Cray._ Her stomach was in a knot, and her knees were suddenly so wobbly that she turned away from Peeta and leaned against the tree for support. “How did you find out? I’ve not told anybody,” she asked in a thick voice.

“Gale told me a few days ago.” His voice was calm but serious. “But please don’t be upset with him. He is really concerned for you…I suspected something that day you came for the job and Cray followed you. I didn’t like how he was looking at you. The rumor is starting to get around too; my brother told me about it this morning.”

“What are they saying?” she asked, hoping that rumors didn’t have her already sleeping with Cray.

“Simply that Cray wants a wife and that you are his top pick,” Peeta stated and then added warmly, “but everyone knows you would never willingly agree to marry him. I take it by the way he pulled you aside last night that he’s already propositioned you.”

“Yes,” she said softly as she eased herself to the forest floor. “He first told me of his plan the morning I got the job.He wants me to marry him and have his children.” She shivered visibly. “I don’t want kids, ever, least of all his. Last night I inferred to him that we, as in you and I, were a couple but we’ve kept it quiet because we thought that your family wouldn’t approve. I thought that if he thought I was already involved that we would leave me alone.”

“That might work, coming to dinner tomorrow would only reaffirm that,” Peeta reasoned as he sat on the ground close to Katniss. “You meeting my entire family would make it look like the real thing. In fact, it would make it look as if we’re very serious. For Merchant families, a dinner with the elders is usually a precursor to an engagement.”

She felt her cheeks flush slightly at the word ‘engagement.’ “Peeta, I couldn’t let you do that,” she asserted. “It would be bad for your prospects to be associated with a girl from the Seam. What about that girl you told me about? Shouldn’t you be pursuing her instead of pretending with me?”

He gave her a half-hearted smile, “Katniss, you are held in much higher regard then you give yourself credit for. You don’t know the effect you have on people.” He sighed heavily, “Besides, I’ll probably never get to be with that girl.”

“Why not?” she questioned. _What girl would turn him down?_

He took a deep breath, “I know that Seam kids think that life in town is easy. Granted, it is easier than growing up in the Seam, but at least everyone there is on equal footing. Everyone in the mines starts off the same. It isn’t not like that in town. There it is all about birth order and connections. My brothers are ahead of me to inherit the bakery. Rhyes has already waved that right because his wife is an only child and they’ll automatically take over her family’s accounting business. But Graham and Gemma will need the bakery to support their family, and there won’t be enough to support two households, especially while my parents are alive.”

He fiddled with some stones that lay at the base of the tree and then threw one before he continued, “So you see…I have no real future at the bakery.  I have some money saved, but not nearly enough to buy into a profitable business. The girl I love won’t be inheriting anything either…so it wouldn’t be fair to either one of us for me to court her at the moment. We would have no way to live. I will not pursue her until I have a trade with which I can support her. I doubt that it will happen in the foreseeable future, so you see helping you won’t do me any harm at all

Katniss didn’t know how to reply; it saddened her in an inexplicable way to know that Peeta couldn’t love who he wanted to because he had the luck to be born third after two brothers. She knew that she shouldn’t care, but she couldn’t help but to raise the question, “So what if she finds someone else while you’re pretending with me?”

“That is a risk I’ll have to take.” He then put his hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “Because I couldn’t be the kind of man that is worthy of her if I don’t do everything I can to help keep a friend from a terrible fate.”

Katniss could not believe that she was having this conversation with Peeta Mellark; if anybody else would have said this to her she would have been able dismiss them as a liar or as having an ulterior motive. But she believed him.  He was so sincere and well reasoned that she could not dispute him. He had put her under his spell—she has never been so convinced by words alone. As much she disliked the thought of accepting his help, her gut instinct told her that he was right, although she wasn’t ready to concede to that yet.

She let out a sigh as she stood and told him, “Let me think about it for a little while, and I’ll give you an answer when I bring you something for dinner later.”

“Alright,” he agreed and rose. “Let me walk you to the fence.” They walked the short distance to the barrier that separated the district from wild animals that they were told were their biggest threat to their well being.

When they reached the fence Katniss paused to listen for the tell-tale buzzing.

“What are we doing?” Peeta asked in a whisper.

“Listening,” she said, “cause you never know when they might turn it on. I can’t imagine electrocution would be a good way to go.”

“Probably not,” he admitted then put his foot on one wire to push it down and used his hand to lift another, making the gap large enough for Katniss to easily slip through. She gave him a quiet thanks and passed through.

“I really admire what you can do out there,” he told her once she was on the other side.

“I simply do what I have to take care of who I love,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Please think seriously about my offer,” he pleaded. “I just want to help.”

Katniss turned to walk into the depths of the woods, but then she turned to look at Peeta, who had not moved and seemed to be watching her. There was something that had been bothering her about this whole situation. “Peeta, why is your mother going along with all of this? I mean, doesn’t she hate anyone from the Seam?”

The heavy expression that he had come to her house with returned. “Let’s just say that as much as my mother dislikes miners she hates Cray even more. She is all right with this as long as we pretend to break up as soon as Cray leaves the district.”

Katniss was surprised to hear that explanation, though it left her with more questions than answers. The look on his face made it clear that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “I’ll be at your house later. I can’t promise a goose, but I’ll come up with something. We’ll talk more then.”

Peeta waved. “Alright, I’ll see you later.”

She turned and walked into the woods without looking back; something told her that he’d watch her until she’d disappeared from sight.

She looked at the sun.  It was already nearly five o’clock, walking all the way to the lake at this time of day to hunt for geese that may or may not be there. So instead she retrieved her bow and arrow and traveled to the clearing where she knew a flock of turkeys had nested, setting her snares along the way.

She silently made her way to the familiar hunting grounds and watched the plump birds graze and peck in the grass and waited for an opportune shot. She tried to focus on hunting, but she was to be a challenge. Thoughts of Peeta kept clouding up her mind. _I never meant for this to go this far…I thought that last night would be enough to put off Cray._ The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it most likely wouldn’t be the case. There was something about the way that Cray looked at her last night when she walked away with Peeta that made her uneasy. She knew that having Peeta around on a regular basis would help her cause, and it may also hurt him. _But what would happen if Cray doesn’t give up? What would that mean for me?_ The thought of being forced into a marriage did not go down well. _What would happen to my family then?_

Katniss pushed away these thoughts as best she could and concentrated on the task at hand; finally a fat jenny stuck her head up out of the grass, and she took the shot. It hit the bird and all the others in the flock scurried away. She collected her kill and judged it to be big enough to fill Mrs. Mellark’s order.

The thought of Mrs. Mellark knowing about her predicament made her feel uneasy, and the knowledge that the older woman was willing to help her even if it was just to spite Cray dumbfounded her. _There has to be more to this story._

She spent the rest of the evening hunting and gathering, but she was too distracted to be overly successful. As the sun started to fade, she left her comfort zone in the woods and reentered the district.

Katniss made her way to the Mellark residence. She knocked on the door of the Merchant home, and Peeta promptly answered the door and greeted her, “Hi.”

“Hi,” she returned. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” he replied and let her in and led her to the kitchen and pulled out a chair. “Dad is visiting Graham’s house, so we’re alone.”

“It was too late in the day to get out to the lake,” she explained as she pulled the turkey from the game bag. “So I didn’t get a goose, but I got a turkey instead. I hope that it will be alright.”

“I’m sure it will be fine,” he said confidently as he retrieved a pot of water to boil. “It will be a treat. I’ve never had it before, but it is supposed to be good, right?”

“Yeah, I prefer it, actually because goose meat can be greasy,” she commented and took the seat he offered.

“You’ll have to tell me how to prepare it,” he said as started to pull out knives and a cutting board.

There was an awkward silence. Katniss finally asked, “So how would this work? I mean our pretend relationship.”

“You’re agreeing?!” he said with a little shock in his voice; apparently he thought that he was going to have to try harder to convince her.

“Yes,” she said simply. “I don’t see Cray giving up if he doesn’t think that I’m already otherwise taken. I want to nip this in the bud now. So how do we go about doing it?”

“Well, I guess we do what people who are dating do?”

“I don’t know what people who are dating do,” she confessed.

“We make it a point to be seen together and visit each other’s houses,” Peeta offered. “You could take me out to the woods. I’ve always been curious about what it is like out there.”

Katniss couldn’t help but to smile at his eagerness. “It’s nice this time of year, and it’s much cooler out there. I go out to the lake as often as I can in the summer.”

“There’s a lake out there?!”

“Yeah, where do you think the geese and ducks come from?” she challenged.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’ve never been out in the wilderness. You’ll have to teach me.”

She helped Peeta to process the bird after she noticed how he struggled to pluck it. While they worked, he asked about the woods and Katniss found herself sharing things about her father that she’d never told anyone—things like the way he taught her how to swim and how he made her a small bow when she was six. Peeta listened attentively and asked if she could teach him how to swim, and she agreed.

He made them a filling dinner of toast and scrambled eggs and educated her about the best uses of stale bread. Before she knew it, the night sky was dark and it would be time for curfew soon. Hank had come home and poked his head in the kitchen and looked genuinely pleased and surprised to see Katniss there; he greatly approved of the turkey and then wished them a ‘goodnight’.

“Well, I had better get home,” she announced.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” he told her and she gave him a confused look. “I’m walking you home. What kind of guy lets his girl walk home in the dark?” he added sarcastically.

Katniss was hesitant to allow him to take her, but she knew that he would insist. They walked the mile to the Seam in a comfortable silence. Every time they walked past someone, Peeta would put his arm around her shoulder. When they passed a Peacekeeper making the evening rounds, he pulled her close to him; the Peacekeeper watched them for a moment and then cast them an empathetic glance.  In the Seam, people were sitting on their porches enjoying the cool night air. Some gave them odd expressions, but others waved as if they saw Peeta walking through the neighborhood regularly. Katniss assumed that maybe some of the novelty of an uneven match had worn off some since the mayor’s daughter had just married a miner and well-known poacher. 

When they reached the Everdeen home, Katniss could see that they had power that night because the lights were on and she could hear the hum of the fans. As they reached the porch, Katniss thanked him for walking her home.

“One o’clock tomorrow,” he reminded her. “Do you want me to come and get you?”

“No, I can manage. I have walked around the district on my own before,” she smiled, thinking of how silly it was that she went hunting all on her own all of time yet she would need in escort to get to town during the day.

“I know, but I’m expected to ask,” he grinned. His face became more serious and he said apologetically, “Um, I know that it shouldn’t matter and I don’t care, but my mother asked to make sure that you knew to dress nice.”

“Alright I will,” she nodded. “You’d better get going.  You don’t want to get caught past curfew. You never know when they’ll enforce it. I don’t think that you’d like to spend time in the stocks.”

“No, I wouldn’t.” He squeezed her hand gently. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Peeta,” she said softly and watched him walk into the night. A strange feeling came over her—something akin loss while as she watched him walk away.

Before even crossing the threshold, she was met by Prim who excitedly questioned her, “Did Peeta walk you home?! That is two nights in a row now!”

“Prim,” their mother called from her rocking chair where she was rolling bandages. “Please go upstairs. I would like to talk to Katniss alone, please.”

Prim was about to protest, but her mother gave a stern, ‘don’t argue with me’ look. The sisters exchanged confused glances before Prim exited and Katniss took a seat on the couch.

Mrs. Everdeen cleared her throat. “I was in town today and Purina, the Peacekeeper, stopped me and we had an interesting conversation,” her mother informed her in a hushed voice. “She told me about Cray. Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?”

Katniss’s shoulders slumped and she admitted, “I didn’t want to worry you…I told him ‘no,’ and I thought that would be the end of it. Then for good measure I spent the most of the toasting by Peeta’s side.”

“Well, he has been asking around about you two. What is going on?” her mother demanded.

Katniss hated to tell her mother what was going on, but she knew that she would hear it all eventually. She quietly shared with her mother about Cray’s offer, leaving out the most unsavory details. Her mother sat silently and listened intently, grimacing every now and then. Then Katniss shared about how Peeta had offered to help her by pretending to her boyfriend.

“That will work until his mother finds out,” Mrs. Everdeen pointed out.“I doubt that she’ll be willing to go along with all of this.”

“No, actually she is,” Katniss shared, making her mother’s eyes go wide. “Peeta didn’t tell me exactly why but he said that his mother hates Cray and that she would allow Peeta to help me until Cray leaves the district for good. I don’t why she is so willing to help; she has nothing but contempt for me.”

Her mother looked pale, “I know why. She comprehends what a despicable person you’re dealing with. You need to understand how very dangerous Cray is. Over the past twenty-five years I have taken care of several of Cray’s girls. First timers he wasn’t gentle with, women he’d given diseases because he pays more if they don’t use protection.” Her mother paused and looked Katniss in the eye. “And on occasion, I’ve had to tell some of them how to get rid of an ‘inconvenient’ problem.” Katniss cringed at the words; she knew how much her mother hated abortions. She would regularly prescribe a ‘morning after tea,’ but would refuse to end a confirmed pregnancy. Her mother valued human life of all types and to add to the dilemma was all of the potential risks to the woman, permanent infertility and in some cases death.

“I only do it for them because I know what Cray does to the girls that he’s gotten pregnant. Right after I married your father, Hank Mellark carried a young woman to me who he’d found beaten in the alleyway behind the bakery. She was about five months pregnant, and it was Cray’s child. She told him that she was going to report him to his superiors and he beat her within an inch of her life, making sure that he killed the child in the process. As you know, Peacekeepers aren’t supposed have children.  Being reported would have prevented him from becoming Head Peacekeeper someday.” Her mother rose from her chair and sat next to Katniss and embraced her—and for once she allowed it because right now she needed all the comfort she get. “We need to keep him away from you,” her mother insisted. “And if Peeta is willing to help we must let him.”

Katniss felt sick. She’d just thought that he was perverted but now she thought that he was evil. _This man wants to get me pregnant, yet he’s already killed his own child. He’s far more dangerous than I’d thought._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading I hope that you enjoyed it!


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait on the update life has been crazy. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, it really means a lot to me.
> 
> I would also like to thank my wonderful betas, kismet4891 and Court81981. I love these ladies so much!

 

Banner by Ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 7**

**Peeta**

The temperature had finally dropped some, but it was still unbearably humid in the house, and it only added to Peeta’s discomfort. He sat directly across from his mother at the dinner table, and he noticed that her nose was slightly crooked. It was just barely discernible, and he’d never thought too much of it before. Now he had to wonder if that was something that Cray had done to her; the idea made him feel ill. There was also a faint scar on her left temple that she had told her sons she’d gotten when she was a teenager. He now looked at his mother in a totally different light. She suddenly caught his eye, and she gave him a severe look, he quickly turned his attention away.

The tension around the dinner table was thick. The whole afternoon had not started well; Peeta’s mother was upset because when she arrived, his father told her that his brothers would not be coming. Peeta was disappointed too and had been counting on his brothers being there to help defuse the awkwardness at the dinner table. Graham was taking care of his sick wife and child, so at least their excuse was legitimate. Rhyes and his wife’s excuse was questionable though; they claimed they had work that they’d forgotten about and they would not be able to come. Ever since the middle Mellark son married, he’d been distancing himself from the family; he was a part of the upper crust of the Merchant class now and baking was considered lowly by some, like most any trade that required a strong back and breaking a sweat.

The moment Katniss walked in the door, Aunt Vesta had demanded that she come and allow her to take a look at her. She was wearing the same red dress that she’d worn to the Hawthorne toasting and looked just as lovely as she did that night. He had been apprehensive about how his aunt would treat Katniss. Vesta was of the attitude that at eighty-five, she could do and say whatever she pleased and no one could call her on it. She also had a talent for backhanded compliments that was unmatched by anyone else.

Yet he was pleasantly surprised when the little old lady proclaimed upon meeting Katniss, “Oh, my, what a pretty girl! You look so much like your grandmother; your coloring is different mind you, but your nose and lips are the very same.” Then the other shoe dropped, and Peeta cringed some when Vesta added, “You are the most stunning Seam girl I’ve ever seen, that part of the district just seems to suck the life and beauty out of women…maybe with some luck Peeta can get you out of there before it does to you what it did to your mother. She looked awful the last time I saw her.”

Katniss’s face flushed, but he couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or embarrassment. She was at a total loss for words, and Peeta didn’t blame her. She nodded politely and gave a tight smile. Vesta, despite her comments, linked her arm with Katniss’s and acted as if she were her new best friend.

At the dinner table, Peeta’s mother clenched her jaw and avoided looking at their young guest. His old aunt was at least was making enough conversation for everyone; she spoke mostly to Katniss, telling her stories about the apothecary grandmother that she had never known. Vesta had a bad habit of starting one story, abandoning it and telling the ending of another. Katniss sat and patiently listened to the rambling octogenarian, and she looked at her with a little awe. Peeta suspected why; old people were a rare thing in the district, and Vesta was one of the few people left in the district that was old enough to remember life before the Games. He wracked his brain to think of how many old miners he’d ever seen and could only recall ever seeing a handful that looked over fifty.

Finally his father emerged from the kitchen carrying the main course: Katniss’s turkey stuffed with breadcrumbs and spices.  It was like a Reaping Day feast. The smell made Peeta’s mouth water, and the mood around the table lightened some when bird was set on the table.

“Oh, is that a turkey?!” Aunt Vesta marveled as her niece carved the bird. “I haven’t eaten a turkey in years. Where ever did you get it? No one has kept a flock in years.”

“Katniss caught it,” Mr. Mellark remarked with pride, as if he were speaking about his own child. “She’s a clever girl.”

“I had asked for a goose,” Mrs. Mellark said coldly.

“Oh, well I much prefer turkey anyway,” Vesta exclaimed. “You went out into the woods and caught this?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she replied humbly.

 “I suppose your father taught you, didn’t he?” Vesta questioned, and Katniss nodded. The old lady chuckled a little, “And to think that old jackass of a grandfather of yours thought that your father was worthless, even though he thought it was good enough to bring him plants out of the forest. It was when your mother took a shine to him that your grandpa turned on that handsome Seam boy.Your grandfather should have invited him into the family business. Although, I always thought that it was romantic, your parents…it was just like Valeria and Domitian out of my stories.”

Peeta had to bite his tongue from laughing; he doubted very much that Katniss ever indulged in watching _The Glamorous and Gilded_.  Vesta loved the corny, overly dramatic Capitol soap opera about rich fashion tycoons and models. Once in a great while, Peeta would catch a couple of minutes of them when he delivered bread to his aunt and she insisted that he have a cup of tea with her. The ridiculously named and bizarrely colored people would proclaim their epic, undying love for one another, and when he would deliver bread the following week they would be doing the same thing with other characters. It just struck him as funny for anyone in the District to be compared to that sort of mindless, shallow dribble.

“So what other things do you get in the woods?” Vesta inquired.

Katniss seemed to debate what to tell those present at the table. She finally confessed, “Well, I think that I’ll pick blackberries later this afternoon.”

“Oh, a blackberry pie would be delightful,” Vesta sighed. “My mother used to make the best. Hank, I’m sure that you’d make a killing selling fresh fruit pies.”

Peeta cringed; Vesta was always telling his father how to run his business, as ifshe truly thought that the bakery suffered simply because of bad management or due to laziness on his father’s part. She had no understanding of how everything worked these days: how the government’s rationings affected everything from quotas to the amount of coal that they were given to fuel the ovens.

“I suppose I would,” Mr. Mellark conceded. “Katniss, why don’t you bring me all the berries you can pick and then we’ll see how many pies we can get out of them?”

The group fell silent as they ate; Peeta savored the taste of the forest fowl. It was perhaps the best thing that he’d ever eaten. He noticed the look of surprise and unexpected pleasure when Katniss tasted the stuffing. It never occurred to him that stuffing would have been a rare treat for her.

Everyone ate their fill and then some. Peeta collected the dishes, and Katniss volunteered to help him. In the kitchen Katniss whispered to him, “Would you like to come to the woods with me today?” He was taken aback for a moment and didn’t reply immediately. She continued, “I mean, to help me pick berries.  It goes much faster with more hands. Also the patch is close to the lake and I thought that if we get out of here in good time that I could take you out there to see it.”

He nodded excitedly before he could stop himself and answered more coolly, “Yeah that would be great. I would love to see the lake.”

They returned to the table, and Aunt Vesta turned her attention to her youngest nephew, telling him that he needed a haircut and that he ought to be wearing his suit. His parents excused themselves to make tea for the group, but really, Peeta knew that his mother wanted complain or lecture his father about one thing or another. To ensure that they wouldn’t have to listen to whatever grievances she had to air, he suggested that they all go sit in the living room where it was cooler.

Aunt Vesta seemed happy to comply, and she linked arms with Katniss as they walked into the modest sitting room. As soon as Vesta was settled, she asked Peeta, “So, when did you start to fancy this pretty girl here?”

Knowing that there was nothing that his old aunt loved more than a well-spun love story, he decided that he take the opportunity to indirectly tell Katniss about how long he’d cared for her.  He spoke directly to his aunt, but watched Katniss from the corner of his eye to gauge her reaction. “For as long as I can remember—perhaps forever.”

The old woman gave him a dreamy grin, and Katniss wore a perplexed expression. He told his story, “Well it started that very first day of school. My father pointed out Mr. Everdeen and his daughter. I thought that she was the cutest thing ever, with her two braids and red plaid dress. He told me about how he’d wanted to marry her mother, but then she ran away to the Seam to marry a miner who had a singing voice so wonderful that even the birds stopped to listen when he sang. I couldn’t imagine why anybody would want to marry a coal miner when they could have been the baker’s wife. Then later on in assembly the teacher asked for somebody to sing ‘The Valley Song’ and Katniss’s little hand shot straight up. Then she sang the song so beautifully. I was five then, but I understood why Mrs. Everdeen would was so enamored with her miner. I was able to rip my eyes away from her for a brief moment to look at the birds outside the window…I knew then that she also had her father’s gift because all the birds had stopped to listen to the pretty dark-haired girl. From that day on, I was a goner.”

He glanced at Katniss, who sat there with her eyes wide and her mouth hung open slightly.

“Oh, how sweet!” Vesta sighed. “Too bad that neither of you have a trade…it will be a long time before you can marry. If you had some money, you might be able to buy the apothecary business back. I don’t see the Jenkinses holding on to it much longer. Mr. Jenkins looks very ill and his wife hasn’t been the same since—” She paused and put her hand to her mouth. “—since they lost their boy. It is terrible to lose your only child to the Games.”

Peeta found some tissues and handed them to her; no matter what else he may have thought about his aunt, at times he always had sympathy for her. Her only child was reaped when he was seventeen.

“Thank you my dear.” She smiled at him sadly and dabbed her eyes.

His parents entered the room with tea and cookies for everyone. It was again awkward and painfully silent. When everyone was done with their desserts, his mother curtly announced that it was time for her to take Aunt Vesta home.

Peeta helped his aunt from her chair while Katniss fetched her cane. Vesta looked at the young pair and petted Katniss’s braid. “You must come over some time. We can’t have Peeta keeping you all to himself.”

Mrs. Mellark rolled her eyes behind her aunt’s back as she embraced Katniss. Peeta hoped that Katniss did not see it. He knew that she was aware of what his mother thought of her, but such a blatant display was unnecessary. 

“Thank you for inviting me to dinner, Mrs. Mellark,” Katniss said sincerely.

“You’re welcome,” his mother said in monotone voice and then added lowly, “But don’t get too comfortable here.”

When the old woman was ready, they wished everyone a final goodbye and left. As soon as the door was shut, levity returned to the house. Everything had gone far better than Peeta had hoped it would.

“Well, that is over with,” Hank commented as he sat heavily in his chair. He then looked to Peeta. “So what are you going to do for the rest of the day?”

“Katniss said something about picking blackberries,” Peeta told his father then turned to Katniss. “Does the offer still stand?”

“Yes,” Katniss replied. “Let me change my clothes, and we can be on our way,”

“You can change in the bathroom,” Mr. Mellark told her and she left the room with a bag of clothes she’d stashed in coat closet when she arrived. Peeta went to his room to change into some old clothes, and when he came down the stairs Katniss was waiting for him in a worn-out pair of jeans and a man’s button-up shirt with cut off sleeves, adrastically different outfit then what she was wearing before, but to Peeta she was just as appealing.

“You two be careful out there,” Hank said and waved.

“I won’t let anything happen to him, I promise,” Katniss sincerely told the elder man. Peeta had noticed how close the two had become, and he was glad for it.

The pair set off on their way with pails in hand.

“I’m sorry for anything that my aunt said that might upset you,” Peeta apologized as they left the Merchant sector of town. “And I’m very sorry about what my mom said; that was uncalled for.”

“It’s alright, I don’t think your aunt meant any harm. Your mom didn’t say anything that I didn’t expect her to; in fact things went much better than I thought they would.” She added a few moments later in a much lighter tone, “It was interesting to hear something about my mother’s side of the family. My mom doesn’t usually talk about her life before my dad. I only found out that she and your dad used to…be close, recently.”

When they got to fence Katniss warned, “I hope that you’re up for a long walk, it is a two-hour hike to the lake.”

“I could go for a long walk,” Peeta smiled. They listened for the buzzing of the fence and when they were greeted by silence, they then helped each other through the wires.

Peeta felt some anxiety leaving the boundaries of the district for the first time in his life. But his nerves were eased when he instead noticed the beauty all around him. He suddenly felt small amongst the tall trees.

They walked a short distance before Katniss went to the hollowed-out tree were she kept her bow and arrows. She admitted, “I doubt we’ll get much hunting done, but you never know when you’ll run across something.”

“What would you run across?” he wondered aloud.

“Wild dogs are the biggest concern because they’ll charge you if they’re hungry enough. There are also lynxes, but they are typically shy of people. I had one follow me around for a few weeks when I first started hunting.”

“What did you do?” He would have been pissing his pants if some big cat followed him around.

“I sort of liked having him around; he was good company,” she confided.“That was before Gale and I teamed up. The lynx knew that he could make a meal off the entrails I discarded. I didn’t mind him until he started to scare off game…I had to shoot him. I hated to do it, but I made enough money off his hide to buy Prim and myself new shoes.”

It broke his heart to think of a near starving, pre-teen Katniss braving the woods all on her own, trying hard to feed her family.

They walked for a while; he couldn’t help but to notice how much lighter Katniss appeared to be out of the confines of the district. It was as if she’d left her troubles behind her. She was at ease while she set snares and picked the occasional plant along the way.

Peeta was loud. He was so busy taking in the sights around him that he wasn’t paying attention to where he was stepping and snapped every stick in his path. Katniss gave him a scowl. “I’m glad that I’m not hunting today. I think that you’ve let every living thing in a mile radius know where we are.”

“Sorry it’s my first time in the woods,” he offered jokingly.

She smiled at him.“I guess I’ll forgive you then. But keep your eyes on the path. You don’t want to trip and fall.”

Along the way she pointed out plants—which ones were beneficial, which ones were poisonous. She made sure that he knew what poison ivy looked like. Finally after what seemed like forever, Katniss pointed to a thicket and said, “There is the patch.” She showed Peeta how to pluck the berries from the bush. Together they harvested the fruit.

“Hey Peeta,” she broke the comfortable silence.

“Yes?”

“Your aunt told me that she became close to my grandmother while she was pregnant,” she said. “But I thought that she was childless…did something happen to her child?”

Peeta shared. “She and my great-uncle had a son, Harvey.  The Games,” he said simply before going deeper. “There were all sorts of problems when he was born and one of his arms was crippled. He was reaped when he was seventeen. He may have had a fighting chance if it had not been for his bad arm. He was killed in the bloodbath. It had been over three decades ago… Vesta has never really gotten over it, not that I can blame her but that’s why she sort of lives in her own little world.”

“I’m so glad that I’m never going to have children,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Why are you so against children?” Peeta asked before he thought better of it.

“Why would you want children?!” she demanded. “To watch them starve? To worry yourself sick at every Reaping, willing Effie Trinket’s fingers to snatch another child’s name so that yours could live? I can’t stand the thought of giving a birth to a child only to watch it suffer in there,” she exclaimed and motioned towards the direction of the district.

Peeta was stunned and didn’t know what to say. He was far more put out by her words then he could explain. In his daydreams, Katniss cradled his child in her arms and sang her sweet lullabies every night. “What if you didn’t live in the Seam?” He instantly cursed himself for being so forward. “Um, I mean what if your family was able to get the apothecary back?”

“That would be impossible. We couldn’t ever afford to get it back,” she said bluntly.  “But even then a child would never been safe,” she said quietly and started to pick berries again. “Look at your mom’s cousin; he was a rich Merchant and as safe as a kid can get, and that didn’t stop him from dying.” The conversation died, and a few minutes later Katniss announced, “I’m going to go to the lake and see if I can get some ducks or geese before I take you out there. Can I leave you here by yourself?”

“You’re going to leave me alone?” he said, pretending to panic. “What about the wild dogs?”

She smirked at him and picked a big stick off the ground, “Keep this handy to beat them off. Don’t worry too much; they usually don’t attack people in the summer. There is much easier prey around and it’s too hot for them right now, but we’ll want to keep a look out as it gets cooler. Call for me if you see anything.”

 “Believe me, I’ll scream like a little girl if I see anything,” he deadpanned.

She actually laughed as she picked up her bow and arrow. He couldn’t help but to be encouraged by her insinuating that she’d be bringing him back out here again. A short while later, both pails were brimming with berries. Peeta noticed the purple stains on his fingers and an idea came to him. _Maybe I can make my own paints from plants._ He started to look all around him. He found wild mustard plants for yellow, and several other plants that he never seen before.  He pulled out his handkerchief and placed the plants into it. A few paces away from blackberry patch, he found another type of berry.  They were a deep purple and when he broke open the skin, he found that the flesh was blood red and that it stained his skin. After gathering a couple of handfuls and placing them with his other plants, he was drawn to a walnut tree even further away from where Katniss had left him.

He was looking about when he glanced up and saw a pair of mockingjays at a nest; upon further inspection, he realized that they were tending to chicks. These birds had always fascinated Peeta. Here were animals that were never supposed to exist, and yet here they were thriving out in the wilderness. They had managed to evolve and escape the control of the Capitol. _I wish that it were that easy for people, simply to fly away._

He was so lost in thought that he did not hear his name being yelled until the voice came closer.

“PEETA!” He heard Katniss call frantically. He was instantly set on edge and went running towards the sound of her voice; he couldn’t tell if she were looking for him or if she needed help.

They nearly crashed into each other, and he caught her in his arms, “Katniss, what’s wrong?”

She threw her arms around his neck, a little sob escaped her lips, andshe whispered, “I thought you were dead. Those purple berries are nightlock…you’d be dead in a minute…I thought that you ate them! You scared the hell out of me!”

He wrapped his arms around her.“Shh, it’s alright…I’m so sorry. I was looking for things I could experiment making paint with. I never ate anything!  See I’m fine.”

He found himself lazily running his hands up and down her back to soothe her. She leaned into him for a moment and then suddenly pulled herself away, stiffened her lip, and gave his shoulders a light shove and warned, “Don’t frighten me like that again.”

“I’ll try not to,” he told her sincerely. They just looked at each other for a few moments. “So were you able to catch anything?”

“I was able to shoot a duck. I can take you to the lake now if you want.”

“That would be great,” he nodded. She led the way but stayed close by; he thought that maybe she didn’t want him any further than arm’s length away. Soon Peeta was looking at the lake that he’d been dreaming of ever since Katniss first told him about it. His imagination did it no justice.

“Wow,” he sighed. If he was impressed by the woods, then he was amazed by the lake. The light danced off the water and it was surrounded by trees and reeds. “I never knew that there was anything like this out here.”

“Most people don’t,” she said with a little bit of pride. “I fish out here sometimes while I swim; the fish here are much bigger than the ones in the creek. I’ll show you how if you like.”

Peeta agreed, and she showed him how to set up a fishing line and bait a hook. He was a little squeamish about sticking a worm on the hook, but he quickly got over it when Katniss promised to cook his first fish for them for dinner.

Peeta examined the brackish water and questioned, “So, you swim in this?”

“Yep, whenever I can,” she answered simply, and she started to unbutton her shirt to reveal a tank top underneath, then she looked to him and stopped. “I usually swim in my underwear and a shirt… so could you turn around until I get into the water?”

“Oh, of course,” he said, turned away from her, and prayed that he wouldn’t embarrass himself with thoughts of Katniss in her underwear.  He decided to go ahead and take off his boots and started to shuck off his clothes.

He heard a splash and she called, “Alright, I’m in…oh, you already have your clothes off.”

He turned to see Katniss averting her eyes from him. He had to chuckle.“It’s alright I’m not shy, I don’t care if you look. So how do I get in here?”

“Just walk in,” she told him and finally looked at him when he was waist deep in the lake. The water was cool, but he quickly adjusted. She taught him how to float and tried to show him how to swim but he wasn’t comfortable enough in the water yet. They splashed and played. She laughed when he would pick her up and drop her around in the water.  When they saw the fishing lines moving,they pulled them in Peeta caught a respectable-sized bass. They put their clothes back on and then Katniss showed him a very old concrete house-like structure and asked him to start a fire in the old hearth. He quickly had the damp kindling burning into a cheerful fire while she expertly prepared the fish. 

She skewered the fish on a stick to let it cook, and soon they were sharing the meal of fish and berries.

“Wow, I think that I’ve eaten better today than I ever have,” Peeta said and patted his belly and leaned against the wall. “I’ve never had turkey or fresh fish; it was a treat.”

“I liked the stuffing,” she declared. “Bread never lasts long enough around my house to become stale.” Katniss looked out the window and sighed, “We had better head back because if we don’t leave soon then we’ll be walking in the dark.”

They gathered their things and doused the fire. Katniss had a respectable haul: a duck and a few fish. The walk back took a little longer, because they had more to carry back and they stopped to collect the rabbits unlucky enough to get caught in Katniss’s snares. By the time they made it back to the fence, the moon and stars were visible in the sky.

“So what will you do with all that game?” Peeta asked.

“I’ll dress it when I get home then I’ll keep it in the ice box, and I’ll stop by the Hob before I go to work.”

They walked through the meadow side-by-side. When they reached the edge of town, they were greeted by a Peacekeeper. Peeta felt uneasy until he saw that it was Purina; she frequented the bakery and they often traded playful banter. “Hey, there kids,” she said jokingly, “You guys are cutting it sort of close to curfew aren’t you?” She looked directly to Katniss and gave her a wink, “Not that I blame you, Everdeen. I bet that he was giving you some wrestling tips.”

Katniss’s face went scarlet and she didn’t know how to answer.

Purina let out a hearty laugh, “I’m just teasing you, girl. But you’d better kiss the boy goodbye and get home.”

“Oh, that’s okay Purina. I was going to walk her home,” Peeta chimed in.

The Peacekeeper sobered up some, “No you’d better get home…the Peacekeepers have been told to keep a keen eye on you. I would hate to see some kiss-ass turn you in for being out five minutes past curfew. Make sure that you have a written pass for in the mornings too, Mellark.”

Peeta nodded his head. Katniss gave him a nervous expression. He didn’t know if it was because they might have to again kiss for show or because that it was obvious that Cray was watching them. But he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to kiss her again. He set down the pails and held out his arms for her. She did not hesitate to embrace him and press her lips to his; the kiss was chaste, and she lingered in his arms for a moment.

“I had a wonderful time today,” she whispered.

“I did too,” he returned and smiled. “I can’t wait to do it again.”

“We will,” she promised.

Purina cleared her throat. “Come on you two. It is quarter to ten, you best get a move on.” The pair parted and Peeta picked up the berries. The Peacekeeper nodded at him. “I’ll walk her to her door. I have patrol in the Seam tonight anyway.”

“Thank you, Purina,” he said and turned to Katniss. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She gave him a smile, not a simple friendly one, but a real one as she left her end of the district. They had such a pleasant day away from the reality of life in the district, but now they were reminded of how things worked inside of the fence. Conventions said that she belonged in her in part of the district and he belonged in his.

As he walked to his house, Peeta was angered by the injustice of it all. He was seeing things in a whole new light. He wanted to make the world the sort of place where Katniss would feel safe enough to have a child. His child, hopefully.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading!
> 
> In case you’re interested I’m also on Ao3 and tumblr as izzy samson.


	8. chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has waited patiently for this update, I have no good excuse for it taking this long but I do apologize.
> 
> I also to thank my betas, without whom this would be one huge, incoherent mess, kismet4891 and Court81981, they are great betas, talented writers, and overall fantastic friends. Thank you ladies!
> 
> In addition I would like to show my gratitude to Ro Norman for my new banner.

banner by Ro Norman

**Love Without Reaping**

**Chapter 8**

**Katniss POV**

Katniss sat at the edge of the lake and watched Peeta draw, although it wasn’t the picture that captivated her—it was him. The sunlight that filtered through the trees cast a glowing light around him. In this light she saw things about him that she’d never noticed before, like the faint freckles that were scattered over the bridge of his nose and how impossibly long his eyelashes were. They were so blond that she never really thought of them before, and she wondered how they kept from getting tangled when he blinked.

She was noticing a lot of things about Peeta that she’d never realized before. He always doubled-knotted his boot strings, never took sugar in his tea, and often over estimated how many cheese buns they would sell and would insist on Katniss taking them home. If she didn’t know better, she would think that he did it on purpose.

It had been three months since the Hawthorne wedding and she had started working at the bakery. Their ‘pretend’ relationship had been an overall success. Cray, while ever present, had never approached her again.  Not that he’d ever had the opportunity—Peeta or Mr. Mellark always walked her home.  He spent most of his time working in the bakery kitchen while Katniss was constantly hunting and working, cleaning the Mellark homes and the bakery. Although they seemed to spend what little time free time they had together, whenever Peeta walked her home he ended up staying for hours. Usually they worked on the plant book or played cards with Prim. Peeta was now such a part of her life she could hardly imagine what life would be like without him, or at least she didn’t care to.

After the nightlock incident, Katniss insisted that Peeta become more knowledgeable about the plants in the forest if he was going to accompany her in the woods and loaned him the family plant book. While studying it, he noticed several missing pictures and offered to fill them in. She saw no reason not to let him; she would wager that he was as good as any artist from District 1. 

Peeta now came with her every Sunday and would typically forage and attempt to set snares while Katniss hunted. They would meet together at lunch time and swim while their meal cooked over hot coals. Peeta was able to swim short distances, but still was nowhere as fluid with the movements as Katniss was. But now it was September and it was getting too cool to swim, so today Peeta was working on drawings for the plant book while their fish and some katniss tubers cooked in the hearth of the abandoned cottage. She was supposed to be cleaning game but found herself transfixed with watching him.

“How does this look?” Peeta asked and lifted up the picture of smartweed that he had just drawn.

“Um.” She snapped out of her stupor and pretended as if she’d not been staring at him for who knows how long. “It looks great. You’re the best artist that I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks.” He chuckled. “Not that you’ve known all that many artists.”

She smirked. “No, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re talented.” The picture was perfect: the image of the page was an exact likeness of the spear-shaped leaves and the purplish-pink clustered flowers.

Peeta smiled and a faint blush appeared across his cheeks. “So what does this plant do exactly?”

“A lot of things, actually. It is also called ‘heart ease’ because it’s good for heart ailments. Mom uses it for kidney problems, but it can treat skin rashes, sore throats, and it helps stomach aches too.”

“So it would be good for my dad?” he questioned. Hank had recovered some, but was still often tired and no longer had the strength that he’d once had.

“I think that my mom has prescribed it to him before,” she replied. While Katniss was no healer, she sensed that there was far more wrong with Hank Mellark than just ulcers.

“He still doesn’t eat very much,” he said somberly. “He can’t even lift the large sacks of flour any more…I’m worried about him, Katniss.”

Without a hesitation, she reached her hand to his shoulder and gave it a squeeze; it was her way of letting him know that she was there for him, although she really didn’t understand it herself. Being physically close to Peeta came naturally; they had even started to hold hands while they walked through town. At first, it was only when they saw a Peacekeeper, but soon it was all the time, witnesses or not. Katniss did not realize it until Prim pointed it out one night after he left, and asked her if Peeta was officially her boyfriend. Katniss emphatically denied it and meant to make it a point not to be so clingy with him from then on, but it was always forgotten in his presence. He made it easy to forget.

Sometimes she almost dreaded the day that they wouldn’t have to pretend anymore and Peeta would go his way to that beloved girl that he spoke of every now and again. Then she would go hers, a future with no lover or children. It was a certainty that once brought her a sense of security, although now she wasn’t so sure.

“Come on, I bet the fish is ready.” She stood up and pulled him with her. “Overcooked fish is not very good.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t be the worst thing I ever ate. Did I ever tell you about the time I broke a baby tooth on a stale loaf of brown bread?” Peeta joked and followed her to the cottage while telling the comical story.

They ate straight out of an old pot that her father had found years ago and used their fingers to eat, occasionally touching fingers. They doused the small fire and sat a while, allowing their meal to settle.

“What time do we have to be at your aunt’s?” Katniss asked. They had been invited to yet another dinner with Peeta’s great aunt; they had met with her a handful of times since that first Sunday lunch. Vesta had taken a shine to Katniss, much to Mrs. Mellark’s annoyance.

“Six.”

“We’d better leave then,” she announced. “It is a long walk and I would like to hit the Hob when we get back. I have a groundhog, and Sae is about the only one willing to give me anything for them.”

Peeta gathered the flour sacks that he used for foraging and a couple of squirrels that got caught in his snares. “So what did you find today?” she asked as they walked.

“Oh, I meant to show you earlier but I found this oil sack in a hollow of a walnut tree. The bag looks like it’s been left there for years so I thought that it was safe to take. The bag was ruined, but I found some old arrowheads and this funny little metal tube.” Peeta paused to pull the item out of his pocket to show Katniss. “I didn’t know what it is, but I thought that I’d ask you.”

Katniss looked at the strange little metal object in his hand and then took it from him; she couldn’t believe it and gasped when she looked at it closely. “Dad’s stile,” she breathed. She’d forgotten all about the little tube; it was just one of the many things that she’d thought of as lost forever when her father died. She felt her eyes filling with tears.

“Katniss did I do something wrong? I-I can put it ba—,” Peeta was cut off when she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He reciprocated.

“Thank you, Peeta,” she whispered.

“Okay…what did I do?” he wondered and looked down at her.

“You found my dad’s stile,” she explained. “It’s for collecting tree sap and making syrup.I thought it was gone forever.”

“Um, you’re welcome?” he told her softly and she could feel his breath on her lips; it was warm and she suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss him simply because she wanted to. He looked at her with hooded eyes and a sweet expression. They had traded a few kisses over the past few months, but it was always for the benefit of others and to confirm the rumors of their relationship. Yet they’d never kissed just for them and the urge to press her lips to his was all consuming at that moment. Peeta must have felt it too, because he parted his lips slightly and started to lean in.

Just as she closed her eyes and rose to her tiptoes, Peeta stiffened and asked, “What is that?”

She opened her eyes turned around to look into the sky, something glinted in the sky. _A hovercraft!_   She quickly surmised that it was coming their way.

“Hide,” she hissed, realizing that running from hovercraft would be fruitless. “We have to hide.”

She looked around and saw a fallen tree and urged Peeta to it. They ducked behind it; Katniss looked at Peeta and realized that his red sweatshirt stuck out like a sore thumb. Wordlessly, she covered him with leaves and other debris from the forest floor and put a finger to her lips to tell him to stay silent. He nodded.

The hovercraft paused over the lake for a moment before it landed in the clearing next to the cottage. They each held their breath as they watched two figures descend from the vehicle through the branches of the tree. They were several yards away; at first Katniss was convinced that they were Peacekeepers, but something wasn’t right about the men with guns. The uniforms weren’t bright white; they were drab grey and the helmets were different.

The two were deep in conversation and they were just far enough away that Katniss couldn’t hear exactly what was being said clearly, but a few sentences here and there they could understand.

The first man said to the other, “We shouldn’t be here….too close. Coin said no closer than twenty miles… we’re much closer than that.”

The second, taller man insisted, “…I’m telling you, I saw smoke coming from this way.”

“Well, who made a fire out here?” the first retorted.

“Refugees…”

“Where are they? Usually they come running to us.”

“…think we’re from the Capitol, most likely.”

One man walked into the cottage and Katniss cringed, thinking about the hot coals in the hearth and the other evidence that it had been recently used. When the man stepped out, the two conversed for a few moments before the taller one pressed a button on his wrist and his voice was projected throughout the woods. “We are not here to harm you. We are friends of the Mockingjay and can take you where you want to go, it is a month long hike from here. Please show yourselves.”

She and Peeta exchanged confused expressions.

The men waited for several minutes before one walked back into cottage for a moment or two. They had another exchange between them; this time it was hushed. The taller man looked all around again and stared in their direction, and for a brief moment Katniss thought that they were caught, but the men instead walked back to the hovercraft and soon it lifted off the ground and went in the direction from which it came.

Katniss and Peeta still laid there motionless, even after the flying machine disappeared from sight.

Finally Peeta whispered, “Katniss, please, let go of my hand, your nails are cutting into me.”

She looked down and saw drops of blood where her nails cut into his knuckles, but she had been holding her hand so hard for so long that it was difficult to let go. “Sorry.”

“Why didn’t they look harder for us?” he asked.

“I-I don’t know, the last hovercraft I saw out here didn’t give up so easily,” she commented. “Let’s get out of here.”

They gathered their things and all but ran towards the direction of District 12. After nearly an hour of jogging through the woods, Peeta made her stop to get a drink of water and to rest for a few minutes. As soon as they drank their fill and caught their breath, Peeta asked, “Was there something off about that hovercraft to you?”

She sarcastically said, “Like seeing a hovercraft in the woods is an everyday thing?”

He elaborated, “No, I mean that the seal was wrong.  It wasn’t the seal of Panem and I didn’t recognize it as a seal from the other districts either.”

“I didn’t look at the seal,” she confessed then added, “but the uniforms were wrong and the helmets weren’t right. They looked like the ones from the Dark Days footage that they showed us at school.”

“You noticed that too?” he posed. She nodded.

“Who or what is ‘the Mockingjay’?” she wondered aloud.

Peeta thought for a moment. “Isn’t that what they’re calling the last Victor, that little girl from 11 who volunteered for her little sister? Rose? No, Rue.”

“Yeah,” Katniss confirmed, then stood and gathered her bags. “Let’s go. I want to get back to the fence.”

They now walked side by side, and Peeta’s free hand reached for hers and she took it instantly, thankful for the comfort of his presence.

He asked in a gentle voice, “That wasn’t the first time you’ve seen a hovercraft out here, was it?”

Without looking at him or interrupting her stride, she answered, “No. A few years back Gale and I were hunting, hiding under a rock shelf waiting for game to wander in our path.  All of a sudden all the birds went silent except for one, which seemed to calling out a warning. Seconds later we saw a boy and a girl, about the age we are now, running. I’ve seen enough animals at bay to know that they were in trouble. All of a sudden a hovercraft came out of nowhere; we never even heard it. I mean the sky was empty one moment and then it was there the next. The next thing I know, a net dropped and caught up the girl and a spear attached to a cord shot out and went through the boy’s chest and then hauled up his body, I think he was dead.  The hovercraft flew away and then the birds began to sing again, as if nothing had ever happened.”

“Where do you think they were from?”

“I don’t know for sure,” she disclosed. “But I think that they may have been from the Capitol; they had that look about them.”

“Katniss, you’re shivering.” He stopped them and then unzipped and took off his sweatshirt, “Here take this, it’s getting chilly out here.”

She could feel his warmth still radiating from it when he placed it on her shoulders, but the shivers still continued. The girl with the vivid red hair haunted Katniss. Her voice cracked, “Peeta, I can’t forget her face.” He wiped away the single tear that fell from her eye and cradled her cheeks with his, large steady hands. She shared, “For a one brief moment, after the birds went quiet and before the hovercraft appeared she looked right at me, and called out for help.”

He pulled her braid from the inside of his shirt and placed it on her shoulder. “There was nothing that you could have done,” he assured her. “Where do you think they were going?”

“Where _could_ they go? There is nothing past here,” Katniss said, repeating what she’d been told her whole life.

“Well, nothing that we know of,” he said and looked off to the distance before picking up his bags and hers and leading her back to the fence.

Peeta escorted her to Hob and then his house where they both got ready for dinner and they’d hardly spoke, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

A few hours later, they sat around Aunt Vesta’s dining room table. The old woman’s house was smaller although nearly as nice as the mayor’s, only it was cluttered with more knickknacks and reeked of moth balls and muscle cream. 

The food was good, a beef roast with carrots and potatoes, served with fluffy white rolls. It was perhaps the very first wholly store bought meal that Katniss had ever eaten in her life. She observed those around her who had no idea what she and Peeta had seen. She couldn’t help but to notice how small the portions were that Hank took for himself, reminding her of Peeta’s concerns. Mrs. Mellark no longer glared at her like she once did and now treated Katniss with near indifference. Vesta was carrying on about price of meat at the butcher’s and the long delay on her special order fabric that she wanted so she could have a new dress made. Katniss didn’t really care, but was thankful for the old woman’s monologue because it allowed her to concentrate on her own thoughts.

She was thinking about the hovercraft and was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn’t realize that Vesta was talking to her until Peeta reached into her lap and gave her hand a shake.

“Sorry,” she said startled.

“It’s alright dear,” Vesta smiled. “I was just asking if you would like to walk me into the sitting room?”

While Peeta and his parents cleaned up, Vesta took Katniss into the sitting room. There was a large bookcase that held more books on it than the school library did.

“I don’t read much, but my husband and son were great readers,” Vesta commented and sat in her chair. “You can look at some if you like.”The old woman then started talking about how the power outages had kept her from watching her soap operas all week, and after a few minutes, Vesta suddenly dozed off.

Katniss got up and examined the volumes on the shelf; she had always liked books, and reading was her favorite winter pastime when she couldn’t hunt. Her favorite books were ones that she could learn something useful from, like how to tan leather or how properly combine rendered fat and lye to make soap. Although this collection did not look like it contained too many ‘how-to’ books; most were Capitol history and law books. One caught her attention; it looked far older than the rest, and it was titled _The Democratic Republic of Panem,_ she remembered vaguely from school that was the official title of Panem back when all people were considered citizens and had the right to vote, before the Dark Days and the Games. She picked up the book and started to leaf through it. The contents covered the location and geology of each district and what they were notable for; it appeared that every district wasn’t always as specialized as they were now.

She carefully read over District 12; it was known for coal mining in addition to large having a medicine factory, some agriculture, and exported game meat like venison and quail. Katniss reasoned that those industries must have been destroyed during the war.

When she turned the page, she was surprised to see an entry for District 13; it was easy to forget about. It was hardly ever mentioned except for when the Hunger Games came around, on the TV they would show the desolate landscape that was in ruins more than 75 years after Capitol forces had blown them off the map, and it still smoldered from the toxic bombs that were dropped on it. As she looked at the seal of the district, she wondered if it was what Peeta had seen.

He walked into the room and he inquired, “Katniss is there something wrong? You look pale.” He walked over to where she stood, holding the book.

She showed Peeta the picture in the book, and he grabbed the book out of her hands to look at it carefully. Her eyes asked the question and he understood and confirmed in a whisper, “That’s what I saw… District 13?!”

Peeta’s mother walked in to the room, “Leave those books alone; they’re worth a fortune. Anyways, books never have done any good. They fill up heads with crazy ideas and give people a false sense of hope.” He nodded dumbly and put the book back in the empty slot. Mrs. Mellark looked at Katniss for a moment before continuing, “The sooner you accept your place in this world, the easier it will be to live in it.”

The comment caught Katniss’s attention; it sounded like something that she herself would say, although it never sounded so dire in her own mind.

Hank walked into the room, observed the old woman sleeping in her chair and said, “It looks like Vesta is done for the evening.”

Mrs. Mellark sighed, “Well, you two are allowed to leave now; it’s a long walk to the Seam from here.”

They said their goodnights and walked out to the street. Heading towards the Seam, they both wanted to talk but knew that they couldn’t as it wasn’t safe to speak openly.

Upon arriving at the Everdeen home, they were greeted by a hissing Buttercup and a note that Prim had left, saying that she and their mother were delivering a baby. Katniss did not want to be alone just yet so she offered Peeta a cup of tea, which he gladly accepted. When the tea was ready they sat on the thread bare couch and fiddled with their cups.

“Do you really think that they were from District 13?” she asked and looked at Peeta, who was scratching Buttercup at his feet.

He straightened up and his eyes met hers. “That’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. Thirteen is gone, the people are dead. They show footage of it every year, it’s still toxic.  One can’t go within a hundred miles of it.”

“They also say that if you leave the confines of District 12 that you’ll be eaten by wild animals in a few minutes time,” he reminded her. She didn’t have a reply. Peeta reasoned, “There has to be something beyond here…Why else would that boy and girl come all the way out here? Those soldiers today acted as if finding runaways was a common place thing. The escapees have to be going somewhere and that hovercraft had to come from some place. I think that we can both agree that they weren’t from the Capitol. The uniforms were all wrong and they didn’t have that grating accent; in fact I’d never heard that accent before.”

Katniss thought about it; now that Peeta mentioned it they didn’t sound like anyone she’d ever heard before. She recalled accents that she’d heard from the Victors over the years—she thought of the Johanna Mason and Finnick Odair among others, and it sounded nothing like any of them.

“So what does this all mean?” she posed.

“It means that the Capitol has lied, and it means it’s possible to run away from Panem,” Peeta said almost happily.

It was an old idea, one that Gale had planted in her head years ago although she’d not thought about in a long while. It was too preposterous—the thought of her and Gale leading their siblings and mothers through the woods evading Peacekeepers and living in the wilderness indefinitely.  But one or two people escaping to _someplace_ seemed like an achievable goal, a dream that she might allow herself to dwell on, _if_ she had more information.

“What are you thinking about?” Peeta asked sweetly.

“Nothing,” she shook her head. “Shouldn’t you be leaving? Curfew will be soon.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” he said dreamily, then hastily added, “alone, I mean.”

“I’m alone a lot,” she shrugged.

“You shouldn’t be,” he said softly and reached for her hand. “I’ll just stay until your mom and sister get home. Then I’ll leave.”

“Peeta, they might be gone for hours.”

“Fine, then I’ll sleep on the couch,” he offered.

“You’ll worry your dad,” she pointed out.

“No, I won’t,” he explained. “My dad has already told me that if I think it’s necessary, I am to spend the night here.”

“I’m not going to convince you otherwise, am I?” she said and attempted to sound annoyed.

“Nope,” he answered with a grin.

“Well if that is the case, I’m going to go on to bed.” She sighed. “I’m exhausted.”

“Alright, I’ll make myself comfortable down here,” he said and pulled Buttercup into his lap. “It looks like I’ll have a buddy.”

She smiled at him and excused herself to go change and brush her teeth. As soon as she changed, she regretted that all she had to sleep in was an old thin nightgown that just barely reached her knees. But she reasoned that Peeta had seen her in much less while swimming and that there wasn’t much for him to see anyhow.

She went to the closet and pulled out a quilt. When she came back, he was pulling off his dress shirt. She tried not to look at him in his snug fitting undershirt or not to think about how she’d missed seeing him shirtless since they didn’t swim that afternoon. She cleared her throat to get his attention. He looked her up and down for a brief second and then quickly met her eye and gave her an apologetic look. She tried not to blush and softly said, “Here is a blanket. I’ll be in the loft. Goodnight, Peeta.”

“Goodnight, Katniss,” he replied and waited until she was in her bed to turn out the light lamp.

Katniss didn’t know why, but she had the strangest sensation running through her thinking about the man who now lay on her couch. She tried not to think about him and hoped that sleep would find her soon.

She drifted off to sleep listening to the sounds of the night, animals in the distance, the crickets’ chirping, and now Peeta’s slow and steady breaths that told her that he was slumbering.

Katniss dreamed; the scene was a familiar one _. She was in the woods, hunting with apartner armed with bow and arrow, but it wasn’t Gale, it was Peeta. The level intimacy between them was high and was like second nature. He was scruffier than she’d ever seen him, with hair past his ears and a full beard that was few shades darker than his hair. She was coaching him on how to use the bow as a pair of squirrels chased each other on the forest floor._

_“Take your time,” she breathed in his ear. “Keep your hand steady… now let it go.”_

_They watched as the arrow pierced one of the squirrels through the neck and the other scurried away._

_“Good shot,” she praised him._

_“Does that earn me a kiss?” The tenor of his voice filled her with warmth and longing. Before she could answer his lips were on hers, and the kiss was deep and intense. Without hesitation she opened her mouth to his taste him; it was intoxicating and she couldn’t get enough. He backed her into the nearest tree, his arms held her in place, and he pressed his body against hers; she was trapped and perfectly content to be. She buried her hands in his hair while one of his slid down her side to her hip then her rear where he stopped to grope it with his large hand momentarily before trailing it down her outer thigh, down to her knee which he drew up to his hip. He pressed his thigh against her wet, aching core. She threw her head back and began to roll her hips and tried to find some friction. Peeta attacked the newly exposed skin of her neck, and she let out a breathy giggle when the whiskers of his beard and mustache tickled her neck._

_“I love to hear you laugh,” he whispered in her ear, his hot breath gave her a chill. He let out a little laugh, let go of her leg and backed up some. He smiled wide and then placed his hands on her belly, which she hadn’t realized until then that it was large, round and tight. Peeta fell to his knees and laid his cheek to her protruding stomach, “It looks like someone else if happy about Daddy getting a squirrel. She’s dancing.”_

_Katniss was enjoying the moment; she was so incredibly happy, a feeling unlike she’d ever experienced before._

_She looked out into the horizon and what she saw erased all her bliss: a hovercraft with an unmistakable Capitol seal. “Peeta, run!” she screamed and pulled him up. They ran but it was futile; she felt herself being caught up in a net, she fought and struggled. Peeta was yelling her name. She demanded that he keep running, to get away._

_But it was all in vain and she watched in horror as a spear shot through his chest in a spray of blood and gore. She shrieked and kicked, begging to be let free. Peeta looked at her and whispered her name as he was hauled up._

“Katniss, Katniss, please,” a man’s voice pled. She felt a gentle shake. “Katniss it’s a dream, you’re home, you’re safe.”

In the darkness it was difficult to see, but she felt weight of a solid man beside her in bed. The voice and the scent of cinnamon and dill told her it was Peeta. Instinctually she patted at her belly, relieved to find it flat. _It had only been a dream._

“Are you alright?” he asked with his voice full of concern and pulled her covers up to her chest

“Yes, it was only a nightmare,” she replied in a ragged voice.

Peeta reached over her to the bedside stand and poured her a glass of water and then handed it to her. “It must have been pretty bad.  You sounded so scared.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she grumbled after empting the cup. The thought of telling Peeta about dream that started off with them making out and ended up with him dead was not something that she want to share.

“Alright,” he nodded, “try to get some sleep.” He began to rise off the bed.

Before she knew it she caught his hand with both of hers; she had a sudden desire to have him close. It was the only way she could be sure that he was safe. “Please stay,” she realized what she’d just asked for, and thought it best to come up with an excuse to cover the truth. “It’s just…Just that I’m used to having Prim in bed and I don’t like to sleep alone.”

It was a lame reason but he seemed to accept it without question and crawled into the bed as she lifted the covers for him. He settled on the opposite side, but his weight caused her to slide towards him, but neither seemed to mind.

With him this close she became aware that her panties were still damp from the first portion of her dream, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t tell him to leave now that she just asked him to stay. They lay shoulder to shoulder; he was so warm and his presence was comforting. Knowing that he was there, despite the fact she was going to curse herself in the morning, gave her a measure of peace. She drifted off to sleep with a sense of satisfaction. Peeta was safe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find me on tumblr as izzy Samson to get previews of upcoming chapters and stories and the occasional (and usually smutty) drabble that may or may not ever be published on ff or A03.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright....so here is the story with this fic. I started writing it last fall and I posted 4 chapters on ff (this was before I was on Ao3). I then got sucked into In Name Only and this story and my other WiP kinda got pushed aside. I never posted this story on Ao3 because I didn't want to post it until I updated it. I just sent chapter 5 to the beta so I will be posting the first four chapters this week.


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